Glee returns tomorrow night with its first new episode in over the a month, yet there's been no shortage of news in its absence: Darren Criss is fighting off fans on The Great White Way, Real Housewives of Atlanta star NeNe Leakes is preparing for her non-reality television debut as swim coach Roz Washington and Lea Michele is wishing death upon all who utter the name "Taylor Swift." As the Michael Jackson hour looms—circled, starred and highlighted in our calendars—Ryan Murphy is once again getting ahead of himself by announcing details for upcoming theme episodes. "We've never done disco on the show, but I'm interested in the genius of The Bee Gees," Murphy told TV Guide, adding that he and Barry Gibb are working on a Saturday Night Fever tribute scheduled for April. Tuesday's return includes a Chord Overstreet-Amber Riley take on "Summer Lovin'" from Grease, but Murphy also revealed that Cory Monteith has a massive man crush on John Travolta, so keep those fingers crossed that excessive Broken Arrow fandom can turn into a successful campaign for the original Tony Manero/Danny Zuko to make an appearance. Or Justin Timberlake. Sigh. Murphy's No Guest Stars policy was fun while it lasted.
Throughout its history, artist or album-specific episodes have been hit or miss for Glee. Last April's episode dedicated to Fleetwood Mac's Rumours was exceptionally well done, while fantasy episodes centered on Brittany S. Pierce's confused hatred for Britney Spears fell flat. Saturday Night Fever is somewhat of an odd choice for the group—although we're sure Burt Hummel was a fixture of the Ohio club circuit in his day—so weaving the Bee Gee songs into the story line, instead of around Schuester's idea to ask his students to express how polyester makes them feel through song, would be in its best interest. Below, our take on SNF songs deserving of the Glee treatment.
"Stayin' Alive," Bee Gees
New Directions' anthem as they prepare for Regionals, and some sort of showdown with the Dalton Academy Warblers—at the Lima Mall, we hope. Even if they don't emerge victorious, the group could feel better just focusing on leaving the McKinley deathtrap without permanent slushie damage.
"You Should Be Dancing," Bee Gees
If Booty Camp really wants to make a difference, Schuester should outsource teaching duties and open the remedial class up to the general public. Sure, his kids can help out at a soup kitchen over the holidays and entertain home bound holiday revelers with black-and-white Christmas specials, but teaching the elderly to body roll could be his greatest act of selflessness.
"Boogie Shoes," K.C. And The Sunshine Band
Mike Chang, anyone?
"How Deep Is Your Love," Bee Gees
Santana and Brittany's relationship has gone woefully untouched in recent weeks, but this could be the right song and moment for Bitch Spice to make one last-ditch attempt at winning Britt's heart, embracing her sexuality and becoming more comfortable with herself. The Gibb brothers' lyrics fit the delicacy of their situation, and we'd do anything for a "Songbird" Part Two.
"More Than A Woman," Tavares
As Will and Emma prepare to potentially take the next step—down the altar—Schuester can get a leg up at persuading Emma to overcome her many obstacles by singing his way through what she means to him. And if his previous Sisqo serenade didn't somehow make her run for it, anything is worth a shot.
Of course we'll be watching regardless, if only for the chance to see Finn master those John Travolta moves.