"I wrote this song to hopefully help you let go...A place I never wanted to go back to, I had to go there. I would do anything for you Monsters."

With a pig mask covering her makeup-free face, Lady Gaga debuted her newest ARTPOP song "Swine" at the iTunes Festival in London over the weekend. She began with the spoken intro you read above, letting us know that sh*t was about to get squeal real. Rumor has it that the pig-like person she sings about is none other than Perez Hilton, with whom she feuded on Twitter in August. For the sake of this lyrical analysis, we'll remain impartial, simply referring to the object of her loathing as "Swiney."

If you or a loved one has been dealing with a Swiney of your own, may this song be your oink-ment. (So sorry.)

**NOTE: These are the lyrics—as best as we could hear them—from her live performance at the iTunes Festival**

 

I know I know I know you want me

You're just a pig inside a human body

Squealer, squealer, squealer you're so disgusting

You're just a pig inside...SWINE

 

Think of this persisting pig metaphor as the grotesque cousin of "a wolf in sheep's clothing." Good ole Swiney really effed Gaga over, enough for her to insist that this person's soul likes to flop around in mud only to become bacon and so forth. This is the kind of pig that would not inspire Charlotte to weave a praise web.

 

I heard you, don't think I wanna hear another (not another word)

You're just a hater

Just trying to act real special (but deep down you are just a shrew)

 

Sounds like Swiney just said something real messed up (possibly about "Applause" in relation to "Roar," but, again, we're impartial!), so Gaga calls him a "hater"—the hip and efficient way of saying "I am rubber you are glue." She confusingly throws another animal into the mix with "shrew," but we assume the argument was begging for a shout-out to The Bard.

 

Maybe I should have a little more just to stay out of my mind

Cause it's when I'm not thinking of you that I act like a swine

 

Huh. Let's try to piece this together. The first bit likely translates to "I should have more drugs or alcohol. That way I won't think about how much I hate Swiney." Cool. The second bit has us majorly puzzled. Now she's the swine? Is "swine" not a person, but a dark and dirty state of being? Hopefully the rest of the song has the answers!

 

SWINE SWINE SWINE SWINE

 

Hm. No answers yet.

 

Payback. How much will I ask you, Squealer?

(Let your body jiggle)

Skinny, let your ass go quicker

(It's the feel of ecstasy)

 

Okay, now I could be wrong, but is Gaga trying to kill Swiney? Like, is she trying to get him to dance so hard and take so many drugs that he dwindles down to a weight that is unfit for living?

 

I know I know I know you want me

You're just a pig inside a human body

Squealer, squealer, squeal out, you're so disgusting

You're just a pig inside...

SWINE.

 

Now Swiney's a pig...inside a pig? Gaga, please. We're just going to conclude that this song is about a very bad person indeed, and hope that lyrics are easier to decipher on the non-live track.

I know I know I know you want me

You're just a pig inside a human body

Squealer, squealer, squeal out, you're so disgusting

You're just a pig inside...SWINE

I heard you, don't think I wanna hear another

You're just a late up

Move darling act real special

But deep down you watch the strip

Maybe I should haven't been out, boy just stay out of my mind

Thought that when I'm not thinking of you that I act like a swine

Act like a swine, act like a swine

I know I know I know you want me

You're just a pig inside a human body

Squealer, squealer, squeal out, you're so disgusting

You're just a pig inside...

I know I know I know you want me

You're just a pig inside a human body

Squealer, squealer, squeal out, you're so disgusting

You're just a pig inside...SWINE

[beat break]

Squealer

Let your body jiggle

It's the feel of ecstasy

Maybe I should have a little more just stay out of my mind

Thought that when I'm not thinking of you that I act like a swine

Act like a swine, act like a swine

I know I know I know you want me

You're just a pig inside a human body

Squealer, squealer, squeal out, you're so disgusting

You're just a pig inside...

I know I know I know you want me

You're just a pig inside a human body

Squealer, squealer, squeal out, you're so disgusting

You're just a pig inside...SWINE

[beat break]

Cut the beat...

SWINE