Carole Baskin'Dancing with the Stars' TV show rehearsal, Los Angeles, USA - 26 Sep 2020

Photo by Broadimage/Shutterstock

This summer Hulu announced that the streaming service will be producing a new drama called Rodham.

The show will imagine an alternate version of Hillary Rodham's life in which she never married Bill Clinton. It's interesting enough as a premise, and it will probably get a lot of buzz. My only problem is that I already watched it in March, back when it was called Tiger King.

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TV News

Sarah Palin Was on "The Masked Singer" and America Is Doomed

The former vice presidential candidate sang "Baby Got Back," because she's #relatable.

via FOX

The Masked Singer is simultaneously a mysteriously popular reality show and a furry's wet dream.

The singing competition series combines the celebrity appeal of Dancing With the Stars with the good old-fashioned talent contest of American Idol or The Voice. Notable public figures sport particularly frightening head-to-toe ensembles and take turns singing songs, and the judges must guess who is in the suit. And, as is the case with any reality show, things get cringey—especially when a costumed Sarah Palin gives a rendition of Sir Mix-a-Lot's "Baby Got Back."

That's correct: The one-time vice presidential candidate (and Most Famous Alaskan Probably Ever) removed a monstrous bear head (as the entire crowd yelled "take it off," which isn't at all creepy) to reveal her identity before diving into the 1992 hit. She made sure to note that she tweaked the lyrics to be about men's butts instead. Because we can excuse a former governor for opposing same-sex marriage and being a life member of the NRA if they're funny and relatable, right? Right?

Before host Nick Cannon signed off, Palin assured the crowd: "This is something that our country needs right now, too." I can't say I agree, considering I'm typing this through an anxiety-ridden self-quarantine, but to each their own. Funny and relatable! We are in hell!

Watch the haunting performance below:

CULTURE

The 7 Craziest Things That Have Happened Since Trump Was Elected

It's Been Three Years Since Election Night, And It's Time Look Back on the Chaos

ABC

Three years ago today, The New York Times was still proudly proclaiming the near-certainty that Hillary Clinton would be our president, and we all pretty much assumed they were right.

But if you were Biff Tannen in Back to the Future 2 (which President Trump absolutely is), travelling back in time with your future-knowledge, you could have made some good money betting on the election upset.

BTTF2: Old Biff Gives The Grays Sports Almanac to His 1955 Alter Egowww.youtube.com

In the UK, where it's legal to bet on these things, gamblers made millions by betting on Trump's victory. Still though, Trump's win is hardly the most surprising thing that's happened in the last three years. If you really wanted to get out there with your gambling, you could make some serious cash predicting stuff like…

Kanye Is Going to Come Out as a Trump Supporter

Dragon energy! Less than two weeks after the election, Kanye began the horrifying saga that is still underway by announcing that, if he voted, he would have voted for Trump. This is obviously a strange turn for the man who once visibly broke Mike Myers by saying "George Bush doesn't care about black people."

Considering the fact that 80% of black voters consider Trump racist, and only 8% voted for him in 2016, and that Trump and his father were actually sued back in the 70s by the Justice Department for refusing to rent apartments to black people, you might expect Kanye to have similar concerns about our current Commander-in-chief. You would be wrong, because Kanye knows that Trump has "dragon energy," which is why he wears MAGA hats and says that being enslaved was a choice.

Trump's Press Secretary Is Going to Be on "​​Dancing With the Stars​​"

Sean Spicer was bad at his job. He was easily flustered, combative, couldn't deliver a convincing lie, and was constantly distracted by having a colon literally packed to the brim with swallowed chewing gum. But once he'd resigned, it was time to start rehabilitating his image. The process began just a few months after he left the White House in September of 2017, when he made a theatrical appearance on stage at the 69th Emmy Awards—to the delight of Kevin Spacey—and joked about how he used to lie to America for a living. Since then, he's been a correspondent on Extra and finally achieved the pinnacle of his career in August of this year, when he was announced as a member of the cast of Dancing With the Stars season 28. Good luck, Sean!

He's Going to Give Omarosa a Job at the White House

Remember Omarosa Manigault? Back in 2016 the name might have rung a bell. She was the devious villain who lost the first season of The Apprentice and went on to have a successful career as "that awful woman from The Apprentice." Who better to work in the White House? After all, she recognized the importance of the office of the presidency as "the ultimate revenge", so… Actually, her addition to Trump's transition team in December of 2016 was pretty predictable. The only thing more predictable was the fact that she would eventually stab Trump in the back. The fact that she had to be physically dragged out of the White House is a nice bonus though.

An Adult Film Star Is Going to Describe His Mushroom-Penis

Everyone knows that Donald Trump has the best, classiest taste, so if he's going to cheat on his new wife with an adult entertainment star, you'd better believe that star is going to be a three-time "Favorite Breasts" award-winner, and the star of classic films like Trailer Trash Nurses 6 and Camp Cuddly Pines Power Tool Massacre. What might be a little less predictable is that said entertainer will write a book in which she compares Trump's weird penis to a mushroom.

He's Going to Compare "Button" Sizes with Kim Jung-Un

Speaking of Trump's weird penis, you know what a dick-measuring contest could be a fun metaphor for? A series of reciprocated threats between two men comparing terrifying nuclear arsenals. What fun. You could definitely make some money predicting something so stupid, but what's really impressive is predicting that these two star-crossed madmen will then fall in love.

He's Going to Create a Sci-Fi Military Branch Called Space Force

Space Force? Okay, at this point your predictions are just lining up with what a ten-year-old would do with the presidency…which is actually a pretty good model for anticipating his behavior. Unfortunately, Space Force is not going to involve kickass, Starship Trooper space marines, but the ridiculous name alone is pretty great. What could be more childish than that? Other than…

He's Going to Look Directly at a Solar Eclipse

Do you remember being warned about solar eclipses as a child? It's like the number two thing about eclipses. Number one, the moon blocks the sun. Number two, don't look at it! Surely, no adult would be so stupid, right? In his ongoing effort to be a caricature of ignorant defiance, Trump ignored this warning and looked directly at the sun during the 2017 solar eclipse.

Now just remember this list when you hop in your time machine, and you should be all set. If you want, you could also cash in on some of the more predictable stuff, like appointing an "alleged" sex criminal to the supreme court and putting kids in concentration camps, but obviously the real money is in Space Force.

CULTURE

The Sexiest Celebrity Halloween Costumes EVER

Sure, "Trick or Treat" and all that good stuff, but let's be honest, Halloween is all about the sexy costumes.

2019 has been a calamity of a year.

Trump thinks the constitution is "phony" and doesn't apply to him because of his wealth, the amazon is still very much engulfed in flames, and global warming is set to decimate humanity in less than a decade. It all seems quite dire, which is why Halloween is welcomed warmly this year. It's time to give 'em pumpkin to talk about that isn't impending doom. It's time to lift your "spirits," realize life is "gourd" and get done up in boo-tiful costumes to help distract from the actual spooky terror going on outside. To get you amped up, here are a few of the sexiest costumes ever!

Kim Kardashian West as Cat Woman

The Kardashian Klan has dawned a lot of gorgeous costumes over the years, but frankly Kim Kardashian's Cat Woman costume of 2012 takes the cake. Kanye as Batman is also additionally something we can't unsee, but for far different, not sexy reasons.

TV

Sean Spicer Is Basically RoboCop

Sean Spicer's character arc on Dancing With the Stars is ripped straight from RoboCop.

ABC
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It seems like only months ago we were talking about Season 26 of Dancing With the Stars.

Oh wait, it actually was. But when a TV show sees decent ratings, the network keeps a good thing going. So, we are into Season 27 of the show, full of another batch of "stars" shaking their stuff and twirling their torsos for the chance to win the much-coveted Mirrorball Trophy.

While the celeb-factor may not be abundant with A-listers, seeing famous faces we have not thought about in a while combined with some fresh ones on the radar now, the show is sure to be filled with fun-to-watch footwork as the contestants move to the music.

So, who is on board for the latest season of DWTS? The new crew was revealed on Good Morning America today (Sept. 12) and fans were seemingly pleased with the picks.

Bobby Bones (Country music radio personality, host of "The Bobby Bones Show") with Sharna Burgess

DeMarcus Ware with Lindsay Arnold (NFL superstar)

Joe Amabile with Jenna Johnson (The Bachelorette Season 14 and Bachelor in Paradise Season 5, best known as "Grocery Store Joe")

John Schneider with Emma Slater (The Dukes of Hazzard actor)

Juan Pablo DiPace with Cheryl Burke (Mamma Mia! and Fuller House actor)

Milo Manheim with Witney Carson (Star of Disney Channel Original Movie, Zombies)

Alexis Ren with Alan Bersten (Social media sensation and model)

Danelle Umstead with Artem Chigvintsev (Paralympic adaptive skier)

Evanna Lynch with Keo Motsepe (Harry Potter actress)

Mary Lou Retton with Sasha Farber (Former Olympic gymnast)

Nancy McKeon with Val Chmerkovskiy (Facts of Life actress)

Nikki Glaser with Gleb Savchenko (Comedian/host of "You Up with Nikki Glaser" on SiriusXM)

Tinashe with Brandon Armstrong (R&B music superstar)

And if seeing these stars doesn't feed your fix for reality TV dancing competitions, ABC is launching a similar show for the younger set come this October. Dancing With the Stars Juniors will put mini versions of the movers and shakers on the dance floor to fight it out via salsas and mambos.

As per E! News, "Dancing With the Stars premieres Monday, Sept. 24 at 8 p.m. on ABC." Tune in, tap your toes, and take another season out of your schedule to watch these bigshots bust a move on the ballroom floor. Good luck to the Season 27 stars…we'll be watching!


Melissa A. Kay is a New York-based writer, editor, and content strategist. Follow her work on Popdust as well as sites including TopDust, Chase Bank, P&G, Understood.org, The Richest, GearBrain, The Journiest, Bella, TrueSelf, Better Homes & Gardens, AMC Daycare, and more.


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