That's a wrap on Season Two of The Voice, and in the end, the winner was like who the villain usually turns out to be in one of those half-decent horror movie twist endings—the guy who's been there the entire time, never too present or too invisible, but who you somehow always discount for reasons you couldn't really even explain. But before we get to the winner—and yes, we are going to pretend like it's still a surprise, even though you almost certainly already know the answer and can even read about it elsewhere on our site if you're not much for suspense—let's do one final round-up of other things that happened on The Voice last night. For old time's sake. (Appropriate Spotify playlist for this week in tow as always.)
1. Blake and Carson made nice for the finale. The second-biggest ongoing feud of the Voice's second season fizzled out with the following comical exchange:
Blake: "You're looking great!"
Carson: "Likewise, my friend, likewise."
Well, suppose that's that then. The off-season is too long to hold all that hate in your heart, anyway.
2. Jermaine Paul, James Massone, Jamar Rogers and Pip did "I Want You Back". And it was great. The other "let's get the band back together" type performances on the show (Chris Mann doing "Bittersweet Symphony" with Lindsey Pavao and Katrina Parker, Tony Lucca doing "Go Your Own Way" with Jordis Unga, etc.) were OK, but this was the only one when I thought "I seriously hope these guys go on tour together after this." They were adorable, and each had their own styles and personalities without conflicting with one another. "Take that, boy bands!" exclaimed Carson after their performance. The Wanted ain't got shit on JJJD, for certain. (DJ3? 3JD? 3 J's and a D? James and the Massonettes?)
3. FLO RIDA WAS IN THE BUILDING. And Juliet Simms, despite nailing James Brown at his shriekiest just a week before, found Sia's part on "Wild Ones" a little out of her grasp, just sounding off the whole time. To be fair, Flo Rida was getting a little handsy, and we can't really blame Juliet for having her concentration broken. Kind of a creepy guy.
4. Bromance Montage! If you wanted to see a compact cut of Blake and Adam's season-long flirtation, you were in luck last night, as all their most lovey-dovey moments were strung together. Christina was typically irritated ("I get very uncomfortable watching some of the googoo eyes go by…I'm just an object in the way") in her commentary on the matter, while Cee Lo was just too Cee Lo to say anything of substance ("They got Bromance…but everybody else has Lomance"). Now, Blake says he's moved on to Carson, resulting in this weird shot of Carson blowing air kisses or something?
5. Nice solo, Oates! Sometimes you can get so caught up in the inherent ridiculousness of Oates that you forget the man probably has some musical talent to be involved with one of the most successful pop recording duos of all-time. He played an absolutely blistering solo during the duo's performance of "Rich Girl," stealing the show in a way we thought him only capable of doing with his facial hair. Kudos, Johnny. (By the way, anyone find it midlly ironic that H&O were brought on to perform "Rich Girl" after a couple Team Adam members so failed to recognize or identify with the song earlier in the season that Adam had to switch his song of choice at the last minute? Maybe not ironic, but one of those words that almost means the same thing as ironic.)
6. Speaking of solos... Who is this guitarist guy that keeps stepping out for his solos during the finalists' performances? The way he steps out to center stage, Guitar Solo Face in full effect, the first time I saw him I thought maybe it was a surprise Brian May or Jimmy Page appearance. Now that he's done it a couple times, it seems more likely he's just The Guy in the Voice Band. Stay in the background next season, guy, you're weirding out the young'ns.
7. Tooooo many NBC tie-ins. Painful stuff, really. Ron Swanson from Parks and Rec stealing Cee Lo's swivel chair in an attempt to avoid his fellow Pawnee Parks Department employees. Kenan Thompson appearing as Cee Lo with a fake Purrfect the cat ("I may look like a James Bond villain in a movie directed by Tyler Perry…") No Katherine McPhee, so evidently NBC's completely given up on Smash already.
The worst part of it was Carson's badly forced responses to each. "Will Leslie Knope get elected? I...Knope so!" "Thank you Kenan, heh heh, that was funny." Please, please, NBC, set this guy free next season. As much as we hate him for his work on The Voice, he probably hates himself even more.
8. Chris Mann ripped off Christina Milain's fake head to reveal that she was really an ant person. Well, maybe he did during one of the commercial breaks, but he definitely answered one of her dumb Sprint Lounge questions about being nervous or something with the moderately amusing response "I'd like to thank Justin Bieber...his whole 'Swag Swag' thing has been a pretty big part of our lives the last few weeks." Yours and ours both, Christopher. (Read more of our take on The Bieb's performance here.)
9. Hey, weren't Christina and Adam supposed to be mad at each other or something? If so, even after all the rumors of a finale blowup—possibly exaggerated by the show itself for ratings' sake—the bloodshed was kept firmly backstage. Adam and Christina weren't even given much of a chance to interact, nor were Christina and Tony, so the potential drama was wisely (though somewhat disappointingly) cut off at the head by the Voice producers. By the way, have you seen these stories now about how Christina (and apparently everyone else in the MMC) was in love with Tony as a teenager? Pretty heady stuff.
10. And yeah, Jermaine Paul won it all. We thought it would either by Juliet, the best singer left standing or Tony, the most buzzed-about guy in the competition, but it looks like Tony's vocal limitations ultimately did do him in, and Juliet may have lost her edge a little with some underwhelming final performances. In the end, it was Jermaine Paul, who probably had the best final showing of anyone in the competition, who was able to seize the brass ring, the show's second straight R&B singer and industry vet to win the grand prize.
I'm not thrilled with the choice, since at no point in the competition did I think that Jermaine was the best guy, but I also can't be too mad it—he was awesome on Monday, and he's certainly a much worthier winner than Tony Lucca, who probably should have gotten cut three weeks ago. Can't see this guy having a hugely successful pop career, but none of the remaining contestants were slam dunks for that anyway. You can't say that Jermaine was an unappreciative winner, anyway—he had the tears streaming and the loss of words and all that good stuff. Congrats, guy. Don't spend that 100 grand all in one place.
Thanks for reading these recaps all season, guys. See you for Duets.