This week's top goals come from Barcelona champion Luis Suarez, a parody of his goal by Newcastle, Atlético star Griezmann and other familiar names. MLS makes the list with Yamil Asad's score marking Atlanta United's first ever goal. Ronaldo's head makes a star appearance and so does Neymar Jr.'s foot.
GOLD - Luis Suarez
Barcelona's Luis Suarez gave a masterclass on setting up to kick this week. A defender deflected a shot from Rakitić high into the air. Suarez stepped back, centered himself under the ball, glanced behind him like an MLB outfielder looking for the warning track, a swung his foot sideways to rocket it into the goal without it ever hitting the ground. Kicking from the air is challenging but Suarez makes it look like standard procedure with a shot that gives the goalie no chance.
SILVER - Suarez [Remix by Newcastle]
Newcastle must have seen Suarez's lesson and been fooled by how easy he made it look. When the Brighton goalie punches a corner kick into the air, Christian Atsu swings à la Suarez but only knocks the ball sideways. BUT the ball ricochets miraculously down a crooked line of Newcastle attackers and somehow, somehow, bounces over the keeper's hands. Not as pretty but just as fun as Barcelona's picturesque score.
BRONZE - Griezmann
Antoine Griezmann dribbles across the field a few yards outside the eighteen. He passes the ball off twice but it comes back twice. Next step: fire a shot from way outside the box. It comes off his left foot and floats in just between the keeper's hands and the crossbar. While the commentators are wondering if he actually missed his corner target, I'm watching, stunned, as the ball sails in slow motion over the fully extended keeper's gloves.
The rest of the best:
Yamil Asad scored the Original Goal for brand new MLS club Atlanta United on Sunday with this sliding finish. The Atlanta midfield makes a big recovery after one failed attack with a long pass to the far corner where Asad is waiting to knock it in. Credit to both the pass that soars over most of the players on the field and Asad's perfect positioning.
Lukaku tops the list
With a beautiful approach and a solid finish, Romelu Lukaku becomes the all-time leading Premier League scorer for Everton. He receives the pass and makes a move that trips up the only defender standing between him and the keeper. With open field in front of him he sets up and crosses the ball on the ground to the far corner with a composure that makes him the leading scorer.
Griezmann picks up a deflected pass in the center and makes the most of it, taking a baseball slide to push the ball past the keeper. Quick thinking let him grab the opportunity given by an error and quick feet won the race against the defenders to put him in last-second shooting position.
Deadly free kick by Neymar
Do not give Barcelona a free kick just outside the eighteen. Just don't. If Messi doesn't squeeze the ball as far into the corner as physically possible, then Neymar will drop it right below the crossbar. Neymar chaps the lips of the Sporting defenders in the line with a ball fired like a bullet into the top of the net.
Rodriguez to Benzema
James Rodriguez offers a stunning free kick pass across the field to Real Madrid teammate Karim Benzema, whose foot is waiting right in the corner to urge the ball past the keeper. It's a fatal combination for the defense, powerless against a shockingly good pass.
Ronaldo in the 88th
Two minutes left in regular time means it's Ronaldo's turn for some points. A quick corner kick sends the ball into the goal-front fray where Ronaldo is waiting. He manages to clear enough room to spring up for a pretty distant header that's just a flash before the keeper's eyes. Fact: Ronaldo's favorite sport is the clutch game.
Kane from a distance
Tottenham's Harry Kane winds around defenders, looking for an opening. When he finally finds a second of freedom near the center he strikes with a distant shot that catches the keeper totally unprepared. Barely one defender stands in all of that open space between Kane's foot and the far-off net. Worst case: a rebound and other try. Best case: Tottenham up 1-0.