Back when there were only 7 Halloween franchise films and zero Disney live-action remakes, Nickelodeon was every '90s kids after school babysitter (unless you had adult supervision, in which case, enjoy your health insurance and advanced degree by now).
Halloween specials of '90s cartoons captured exactly what every kid wanted Halloween to be: unsupervised roaming and feeling at least a little endangered by strangers. Plus, the borderline PG imagery of Nickelodeon cartoons left a permanent, creepy impression on our entire generation. In season 1 of Hey Arnold, a ghost conductor with a broken face serenades traumatized children on his ghost train. A mutilated heifer soldier comes back from the dead wielding his own dismembered leg in Rocko's Modern Life. Oh, and Aaahh! Real Monsters...exists.
Now that Nickelodeon streams on Hulu (and many of these episodes are available to stream elsewhere), for a nostalgic stroll through the disturbing images that now haunt your mind, we present the 11 best Nickelodeon Halloween TV specials.
"Hey Arnold!" - "Haunted Train"
"After hearing a story from Grandpa, Arnold, Gerald and Helga attempt to find the Haunted Train."
For Adults: The Simpsons, "Treehouse of Horror V"
"Homer turns the toaster into a time vortex and becomes homicidal when his cable and beer are cut off.:
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CULTURE
He-Man Sings "What's Up" as New Queer Cinema
The classic He-Man meme video stands the test of time as an iconic example of queer-coded art.
02.11.2020
Slackcircus
In December of 2005, Brokeback Mountain shifted queer-coded cinema into the mainstream.
Prior to 2005, "New Queer Cinema"––a term coined by film scholar B. Ruby Rich in Sight & Sound to define the queer-themed independent film movement, which focused on rejecting heteronormativity and concentrated on LGBTQ protagonists––existed on the fringe of the film world. It's worth noting that while the movement primarily refers to the boom in independent LGBTQ films from 1992 onwards, queer cinema existed for many years prior, albeit without a proper name. But regardless of nomenclature, New Queer Cinema was typically designated for niche audiences, relegated to arthouse showings at best.
<p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMjY3MzgyMC9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzNzM5MDE3M30.jqG2QsLJmEW2cM09Bf7uwaYNRWO0QIDd6c9uDf_YNPA/img.jpg?width=980" id="b8019" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="6e24c2d24ace11934ea55e7e5f1bc5fc" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" alt="Brokeback Mountain">
<small class="image-media media-photo-credit" placeholder="Add Photo Credit...">Focus Features</small></p><p>And then came <em>Brokeback Mountain</em>, a wide-release movie about two queer cowboys, directed by Ang Lee and starring A-List actors Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal. In a sense, <em>Brokeback Mountain </em>went viral, spawning endless memes, parodies, and even <a href="https://southpark.cc.com/clips/150639/gay-cowboys-eating-pudding" target="_blank">an entire episode of <em>South Park</em></a>. New Queer Cinema had entered the mainstream public consciousness.<br></p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-632"></div>
<!-- End Ezoic - undersecond12 - under_second_paragraph --></p><p>"I mean I don't want to underestimate the extent to which <em>Brokeback</em> did its work, because it really did," <a href="https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/kwxk5m/ten-years-after-brokeback-mountain-where-is-gay-cinema-at-111" target="_blank">reflected Rich</a> in a 2015 retrospective on the film. "It changed attitudes across generations. It was obviously extremely powerful among gay men, but it was also unimaginably transformative for people in rural areas outside of major metropolises." In the years following <em>Brokeback Mountain</em>, the conversation around queer culture changed drastically, with LGBTQ representation becoming more and more prominent in media and the <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/27/us/supreme-court-same-sex-marriage.html" target="_blank">Supreme Court finally legalizing same-sex marriage</a>.</p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-633"> </div>
<!-- End Ezoic - incontent1 - mid_content --></p><p>But in 2005, before <em>Brokeback Mountain</em> even came out, there was another viral piece of queer-coded media that took the Internet by storm––a video dubbed "Fabulous Secret Powers," and alternatively, "He-Man Sings" or "HEYYEYAAEYAAAEYAEYAA."</p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-youtube">
<span style="display:block;position:relative;padding-top:56.25%;" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="20db9945b55c94e61103f2d98e1c3d2b"><iframe type="lazy-iframe" data-runner-src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/FR7wOGyAzpw?rel=0" width="100%" height="auto" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" style="position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;"></iframe></span>
<small class="image-media media-photo-credit" placeholder="Add Photo Credit...">
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FR7wOGyAzpw&feature=emb_title" target="_blank">www.youtube.com</a>
</small>
</p><p>Originally posted to the <a href="http://secretpowers.net/reddit/fsp_history.html" target="_blank">Something Awful Forums</a>––the pre-YouTube platform that spawned many of the Internet's early memes––"Fabulous Secret Powers" spread from forum to forum, eventually going on to rack up over <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZ5LpwO-An4" target="_blank">150 million views</a> on YouTube and becoming one of the early Internet's <a href="https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/he-man-sings-heyyeyaaeyaaaeyaeyaa" target="_blank">most viral sensations</a>.<br></p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-635"> </div>
<!-- End Ezoic - incontent2 - long_content --></p><p>Combining animated footage from <em>He-Man and the Masters of the Universe</em> with a cover of alt. rock band 4 Non Blondes' 1992 single "What's Up," "Fabulous Secret Powers" follows a forbidden romantic affair between He-Man/Prince Adam and Man-At-Arms/Duncan. The songs' sound and lyrics lend themselves surprisingly well to this endeavor. </p><p>Set to a pulsating electronic keyboard beat, the ridiculously catchy chorus ("And I say, hey hey hey hey / I said hey, what's going on?") is almost always coupled with He-Man in a pink shirt, head thrown back against a glittery rainbow background. The image became so popular that it even inspired an <a href="https://io9.gizmodo.com/the-laughing-he-man-meme-is-finally-getting-the-action-1827134074" target="_blank">official special edition "Laughing Prince Adam" action figure</a>. But the verses betray a starker reality.</p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-636"> </div>
<!-- End Ezoic - incontent22 - long_content --></p><p></p><center><script async="" src="//pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script>
<ins class="adsbygoogle" style="display:inline-block;width:468px;height:60px" data-ad-client="ca-pub-4301469008561137" data-ad-slot="9626795938"></ins>
<script>
(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
</script></center><p></p><p>As the upbeat keyboard continues, He-Man sings: "And so I cry sometimes / When I'm lying in bed / Just to get it all out / What's in my head / And I am feeling a little peculiar." We then catch a glimpse of He-Man's AIM (AOL Instant Messenger, for you Gen Z trash) chat with Man-At-Arms. "Hey STUD!" writes He-Man, before quickly following with, "LOL j/k."</p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-637"> </div>
<!-- End Ezoic - incontent3 - longer_content --></p><p>He-Man's plight likely mirrored the experiences of a lot of young queer people in the early 2000s who were forced to come to terms with their identities during a time when they were still considered taboo in mainstream culture. "Oh my god do I try / I try all the time / in this institution," sings He-Man. "Oh my god do I pray / I pray every single day / For a revolution."</p><p>As He-Man wrestles with the contrast between the societal position he finds himself in and his feelings for Man-At-Arms, we realize that his love isn't unrequited––Man-At-Arms has feelings for He-Man, too, and is seen gazing at He-Man longingly. The beat slows down as the two men face one another, and the Sorceress of Castle Grayskull intrudes to tear them apart: "Don't cry out loud / Just keep it inside / Learn how to hide your feelings." A tear rolls down Man-At-Arms' cheek.</p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-638"> </div>
<!-- End Ezoic - incontent33 - longer_content --></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMjY3MzgyNi9vcmlnaW4ucG5nIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0MzM0NzE0MH0._RVQpzqEBDXsp-msVDUEwjM-E0odmlrgzrEX1ysnZqk/img.png?width=980" id="4ba9d" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="d611ce7ee766ccf494fa1e5824559ad8" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" alt="He-Man and Man-At-Arms">
<small class="image-media media-photo-credit" placeholder="Add Photo Credit...">Slackcircus</small></p><p>The song concludes on a downbeat note, the music now soft and slow with He-Man surrounded by empty black space: "Twenty-five years and my life is still / Trying to get up that great big hill of hope / For a destination." <br></p><p>Watching the video, it's obvious that "Fabulous Secret Powers" is intended to be funny. Created by two animators from a group called <a href="https://slackcircus.com/" target="_blank">Slackcircus</a> who were inspired by Eric Fensler's <a href="https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/gi-joe-psas" target="_blank">G.I. Joe PSAs</a>––mainstays on early Internet meme boards––"Fabulous Secret Powers" almost certainly wasn't intended to be New Queer Cinema. But at the same time, there's also no denying that "Fabulous Secret Powers" was ahead of its time on LGBTQ representation. </p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-639"> </div>
<!-- End Ezoic - incontent4 - longest_content --></p><p>Unlike many Internet cultural artifacts from the early-mid 2000s, "Fabulous Secret Powers" didn't portray a queer identity as something bad or wrong. Rather, it approached queer identity from the perspective of He-Man, presented here as a closeted queer man (which, for the record, is a <a href="https://www.syfy.com/syfywire/why-one-expert-says-he-man-is-the-gayest-show-ever-fandom-files-14" target="_blank">common reading of the character</a> by queer people) attempting to come out. The video, while humorous, also places us into He-Man's shoes and plants us firmly on his side. He isn't seen as wrong for wanting to express his feelings. Society is wrong for forcing him to push those feelings down. In 2005, pre-<em>Brokeback Mountain</em>, that was not a common sentiment online.</p>Ultimately, despite the fact that it rejects heteronormativity and focuses on LGBTQ protagonists, it still might be a stretch to deem "Fabulous Secret Powers" as New Queer Cinema—particularly because most film critics wouldn't want to place feature films and Internet videos into the same categories. Still, "Fabulous Secret Powers" was arguably one of the first queer-centric viral videos to hit a mainstream level of popularity (or at least as mainstream as something could get online in the mid-2000s). So while <em>Brokeback Mountain </em>certainly paved the way for future generations of Queer Cinema, perhaps "Fabulous Secret Powers" laid the groundwork for someone, somewhere, in some Internet niche, to reassess their views just a little bit earlier.<h2></h2><p></p><div class="OUTBRAIN" data-src="DROP_PERMALINK_HERE" data-widget-id="AR_10"></div><p></p>
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Sony
There's a big problem with the trailer for Morbius, Sony's upcoming Marvel outing that is definitely not part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe even though it has Michael Keaton reprising his role as Vulture (please let us keep our license, Disney!).
See if you can spot it.
MORBIUS - Teaser Trailer www.youtube.com
If you answered, "Sampling Beethoven's 'Für Elise' to line up with blue-tinted action shots is the absolute lowest effort, brain-dead attempt to signify 'gothic vampire movie' in the entire history of movie trailers," you're correct, but that's still not the biggest problem with Morbius. No, the biggest problem is that Morbius is played by Jared Leto.
<p>It is perhaps the most puzzling cinema-related quandary of the modern age, a baffling question with no logical answer: Why does Jared Leto keep getting work? What do audiences see in him, and if the answer is "nothing, he sucks," as it should be, then for what nefarious purpose do casting directors keep putting him in movies?</p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-632"></div>
<!-- End Ezoic - undersecond12 - under_second_paragraph --></p><p>Jared Leto is like some college douchebro's <em>idea</em> of an Actor with a capital "A." He's the kind of guy for whom "method acting" is synonymous with "<a href="https://www.eonline.com/news/756288/jared-leto-sent-used-condoms-and-anal-beads-to-his-suicide-squad-co-stars-yup-you-read-that-right" target="_blank">sexually harassing your co-workers</a>," or perhaps "<a href="https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2017/09/174311/jared-leto-denies-sending-co-stars-used-condoms" target="_blank">making up a story about sexually harassing your co-workers but then denying it later after people believe you</a>," and then crying when <a href="https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/heat-vision/youve-got-stop-jared-leto-fumed-new-joker-movie-1247699" target="_blank">nobody wants to work with you anymore</a>. And before anyone tries to argue that Jared Leto's douchebaggery serves a greater artistic purpose, please keep in mind that he's also a pretty sh*tty actor.</p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-633"> </div>
<!-- End Ezoic - incontent1 - mid_content --></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMjUwMjQ5MC9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0ODA4Mjg5MH0.cz1A0QWds-ncv7HjG6PdhbcazNMwIjd-Sd_qACYiP1c/img.jpg?width=980" id="afd89" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="1efc44753d9dc9cf96d53d4215267613" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" alt="Jared Leto Joker">
<small class="image-media media-photo-credit" placeholder="Add Photo Credit...">Warner Bros.</small></p><p>The Joker is one of the Award-baitiest roles ever created, a character drawn broadly enough that every actor who portrays him can bring their own unique flavor to the performance. Every other person who has played the character in film––Jack Nicholson, Heath Ledger, Joaquin Phoenix––has been critically lauded and <em>at least </em>been nominated for a Golden Globe or an Oscar. Of course, Jared Leto got an award nomination, too, for his take on the Joker as an adult edgelord who spends all his money at Hot Topic and gets silly words tattooed on his forehead. Fortunately, Leto's nomination (which he really should have won) <a href="https://consequenceofsound.net/2017/02/here-are-the-2017-razzie-award-winners/" target="_blank">was for a Razzie</a>.<br></p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-635"> </div>
<!-- End Ezoic - incontent2 - long_content --></p><p>Jared Leto isn't even bankable. Nobody <em>wants </em>to see a movie because Jared Leto is in it. At best, they see a movie in spite of Jared Leto. At worst, Jared Leto's presence in a supporting role tanks an otherwise great movie like <em>Blade Runner 2049, </em>because the awful marketing team focused on his bit role (for which he <a href="https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/films/news/blade-runner-2049-jared-leto-blind-replicant-character-method-acting-a7940001.html" target="_blank">pretended to be half-blind</a> and forced an underpaid assistant to walk him onto set like a big baby).</p><p>There has never been a movie concept less appealing than "Jared Leto pretends to be a battle vampire." Frankly, a worse movie idea <em>couldn't </em>exist, unless it also starred Jared Leto.</p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-636"> </div>
<!-- End Ezoic - incontent22 - long_content --></p><p>Make no mistake, <em>Morbius </em>is going to fail. Morbius already isn't a particularly bankable Marvel villain, but couple him with Jared Leto's anti-star power and you have a recipe for disaster. And yet, for some reason, Jared Leto will continue to get work. Every year, there will be a new movie wherein Jared Leto appears in a role nobody wants to see him in, brags about whatever dumb "method acting" he did to inconvenience the people around him, and then complains when it fails.</p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-637"> </div>
<!-- End Ezoic - incontent3 - longer_content --></p><h2></h2><p>Then again, the world doesn't function on logic. There are people who say very racist things and then get very upset when someone calls them racist. There are people who work minimum wage jobs and still vote for Donald Trump. And, presumably, there are good, moral people who still watch Jared Leto movies.</p>
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