Adventures In Dating—Spotlight On Craigslist Arkansas

Adventures In Dating—Spotlight On Craigslist Arkansas


Dating in the computer age—There's Thanksgiving, Tinder, Grindr, OkCupid, FarmersOnly, Clown Lovers, Craigslist Casual Encounters, Adult Friend Finder, Ashley Madison, Plenty Of Fish, JDate, Christian Mingle, BBW Cupid, FurryMate.....Fetster....Beer Passions...Cougar Life.....Match.com....Naturist Passions.....Cat Lovers Network....Singles With Allergies.... PinkCupid.... AgeMatch..... SploshDating.... ZombiePassions... Zoosk.... DateVampires.. .OurTime...Sea Captain Date....Missed Connections... FelonyDatingService....Kwink Potheads....DateACanadian...Black People Meet....the list is endless.

Each week, Popdust's intrepid reporter, Suzy McCoppin, goes deep undercover in order to guide you through the potentially murky waters of cyber lovin'.

Can you really swipe, click, match, wink your way to true love?

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This week we shine the spotlight on:

Slogan: Casual Encounters doesn't really have a slogan, but it should be something like "For all your freaky needs: Get flagellated, asphyxiated, or chlamydia."

This week my business took me to Little Rock, Arkansas. (I'm not going to tell you what business, but it rhymes with 'meth lab').

Adventures In Dating—Spotlight On Acting Passions

I was determined to learn: Are all the stereotypes about the south true?

Are they more freaky? Less freaky? Equally freaky to their more cosmopolitan counterparts? Would there be family only orgies in the Casual Encounters section?

Naturally, I began my search with 'farm animals.' You may want to look away now…

Adventures In Dating—Spotlight On Animal Lovers

HOT TO NOT RATIO: N/A

BEST PICK UP LINE: "Come suck my dick in between crack tokes."

WORST PICK UP LINE: "Come suck my dick in between crack tokes."

NUMBER OF CORRESPONDENCES IN ONE WEEK: 9

That thong, thong, thong, thong, thong.

His Approach/Chat Up Line: "I am happily married and my wife knows I love to blow dong. May even take some pics for her!" (K. It wasn't his opening line, but it was the one that mattered.)

Conversation Skills/Rapport: Total c**k s*cker.

Closing Skills: I have every confidence that he achieved his goal.

Adventures In Dating—Spotlight On Passions Network

Mom's all about Hilfiger

His Approach/Chat Up Line: "Sitting in a hotel bird and horny." Not sure if this was a subtle way to incorporate his avian fetish or just a typo.

Conversation Skills/Rapport: You can blow him!

Closing Skills: Yeah. No.

Adventures In Dating—Spotlight On Him Her Dating

WEIRDEST GUY dating craigslist arkansas

Wings and breasts? Nothin' weird about that!

His Approach/Chat Up Line: "Had around 15 wings for lunch. Now I'm just sitting here wishing I had some nice pierced boobs to worship."

Conversation Skills/Rapport: For a weirdo, Chicken Wings and Nipple Rings is a logical, sensible man.

Closing Skills: God speed.

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A dog lover. I like that.

His Approach/Chat Up Line: "I'm looking for a woman of any age or race to come over and help my dog."

Conversation Skills/Rapport: OHMIFUCKINGGAAD

Closing Skills: Not sure if the question refers to the dog or the owner.

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I met Ethan, a disappointingly non red-neck name, at the Old Post Bar-BQ, an appropriately red neck bar.

Ethan had sweat rings the size of hub cabs under his arms, and explained it was because "He had been doing blow all night."

So right away, I knew I liked Ethan.

Sadly I did not get to explore this affection as, shortly after arriving at The Old Post, Ethan bumped in Randy, an old friend from high school who now sells plumbing equipment.

Adventures in Dating—I'm A Man, Baby!

Introductions were made and soon the discussion devolved into a fevered debate: Who had the biggest penis?

"Mine in 81/2 inches,' Randy insisted.

"Your dick is small and sickly," countered Ethan.

The argument would not be settled without visual proof, so the cell phones came out. Yes, they have that technology in Arkansas.

I waited as the scrolled...

So far Randy's the winner. I mean, that shit is girth-y.

But after Ethan produced his, or at least a satisfactory image of his, both boys declared a tie and shared a warm embrace.

"I'm gonna kiss you on the lips," Ethan drunkenly slurred.

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"If you do that, we're gonna fight," replied Randy.

Oh, Arkansas.

Meanwhile, my quest for love continues. So call me, maybe.

For more stupid stupidity, follow me on Instagram.

Check back on Popdust every Friday for an all new foray into the singles world….In the meantime, you can read past Adventures In Dating here

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