dating reviews date trekkie
Can you really swipe, click, match, wink your way to true love?
This week we shine the spotlight on Date a Trekkie.
Slogan: Sign up and instantly search through thousands of Trekkie singles looking for someone like you.
Star Trek fans have broken into warring factions over what they should be called.
Apparently Trekkie is somewhat of a derogatory term and refers to zealous obsessives who still manage to break into a 3/4 squishy when they see the Priceline Negotiator.
Trekkers are a savvier lot, and legend has it, the term was originated in the 1970s to try draw a line between those fans jumping on the Star Trek band wagon, and the die- hards, who were there from episode 1- the Trekkers.
For those of you who haven't fallen asleep, join me on this space odyssey and see if I find a handsome young inner galactic virgin who might want to get in Uranus. I mean my anus.
Speaking of which, I’m surprised this site isn’t more popular with the suicide bomber set. Perhaps after the release of this column, it will be.
You’re welcome, Date A Trekkie.
HOT TO NOT RATIO: 1 out of 20
BEST PICK UP LINE: "Wanna get naked and start the next generation?"
WORST PICK UP LINE: "Beam me up, hottie."
NUMBER OF CORRESPONDENCES IN ONE WEEK: 6
HOTTEST GUY dating reviews date trekkie
His Approach/Chat Up Line: "Go ahead. Stick your weiner in my bun."
(Just kidding, but I'm going to start wearing my hair in a bun just so I can say that to guys. Well, I guess I can say that irrespective of my hair 'do. So never mind.
Conversation Skills: Hypocrite. "I try to avoid trendy places and things at all costs." And yet he has a man bun.
Closing Skills: Anyone whose hobby is napping makes me wanna put my weiner in his man bun.
GUY MY MOM WOULD WANT ME TO DATE: dating reviews date trekkie
His Approach/Chat Up Line: "Hi how awkward is writing about yourself." And how pesky is punctuation?
Conversation Skills/Rapport: Scottish import so he kinda sounded like Shrek. Maybe he was looking for Date A Shrekkie.
WEIRDEST GUY: dating reviews date trekkie
His Approach/Chat Up Line: "Let's get butt naked and fuck." (actually no, that was 2Live Crew.)
Conversation Skills/Rapport: Fascinating. (so he says)
Closing Skills: Slays nerd ass at Comic Con.
HELLS TO THE YEAH: dating reviews date trekkie
His Approach/Chat Up Line: "I'm programmed in multiple techniques; a broad variety of pleasuring." (I love this guy-he's so committed.
Conversation Skills/Rapport: Only spoke in Borg.
Closing Skills: Did you know the Vulcan Salute originated from the Shocker?
BLOW BY BLOW DATE SUMMARY: dating reviews date trekkie
Ray and I bandied about some date ideas.
Dave and Busters, where he had a Groupon, to see The Brothers Grimsby…on his laptop, or to go to Ross, because he had some “slacks” he needed to return.
But the truth of the matter was that Ray didn’t want to go out at all.
Because he listed his ice cream maker on Craigslist and he was concerned he might miss a call.
“But you have a cell phone,” I protested.
“Yeah but I only listed my home phone in the ad.”
“But can’t you just….” It was then that I realized, when you’re setting up a date with a Trekkie, and he gives you an out, take the out.
And so I did not go on a date with Ray, though later that night, at around 9:30, he did pitch me his ice cream machine at a discounted rate.
And remember, kids, if you wanna go Deep Space 9, pull out, lest you spawn the next generation.
And so my quest for love continues.....