dating reviews pets
This week we shine the spotlight on: Must Love Pets dating reviews pets
SLOGAN: Premiere pet finder destination for meeting and/or dating quality animal lovers who are single and seeking a sincere relationship with other dog lovers or cat lovers.
Some pet lovers love their pets, and take them to the dog park and feed them gluten-free kibble, but some people, a lot of whom seem to live in Florida, looooove their pets.
Like Red Tube love their pets.
Must Love Pets.com never gets specific as to which side they’re endorsing, so I’m assuming that both teams are represented.
Thusly, I chose my profile pic carefully, and made sure it obscured any identifiable markings.
HOT TO NOT RATIO: 1 out of every 20-ish
BEST PICK UP LINE: "My cat died. Can I play with your pussy?"
WORST PICK UP LINE: "They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs."
NUMBER OF CORRESPONDENCES IN ONE WEEK: 8
HOTTEST GUY: dating reviews pets
His Approach/Chat Up Line: Llamas eat sexy office supplies.
Conversation Skills: Logical.
Closing Skills: Only the llamas know.
GUY MY MOM WOULD WANT ME TO DATE: dating reviews pets
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His Approach/Chat Up Line: "I am not seeking fanaticism, but a healthy respect for our bodies tells me a lot about one’s overall outlook on life."
Conversation Skills/Rapport: Politically correct way of saying "no fat chicks."
Closing skills: I don't think he's ready for this jelly.
CUTEST DOG: dating reviews pets
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Her Approach/Chat Up Line: Insecurity is a disease lets have a secure by been honest.
Conversation Skills/Rapport: What she said.
Closing Skills: I would go gay for Adriana just so I could scratch Buster behind the ears.
HELLS TO THE CLEAVAGE: (Ok, I know that's not a real category, but those things are impressive.) dating reviews pets
Her Approach/Chat Up Line: My eyes are up here!
Conversation Skills/Rapport: Who fucking cares?
Closing Skills: 34 Double D.
BLOW BY BLOW DATE SUMMARY: dating reviews pets
I motorboated Irenegurl until 6 in the mornin'.
K. Not really. I was done long before 4 AM.
But seriously folks. I did not go on a lesbian date with a dog lover, but instead spent some quality time with Hunter, which, by his own admission, is a peculiar name for an animal lover.
Hunter was already hammered by the time I met him at Hinano's, and I respect that.
He slurred his way through small talk and ate up some time showing me pictures of his beagle, Thomas. (points on the name)
I was pretty clear on the fact that I wasn't attracted to Hunter, but I was okay with that because the burgers at Hinano's are outstanding.
The Guinness was bathing Hunter's brain in tepid pool of loving kindness and within minutes he decided he loved me a whole lot.
He rhapsodized about my half bangs, my slightly below average weight, and the fact that he usually hated white people, but I was special.
All was well, or at least well by the standard to which I've become accustomed, until Casey walked in.
A bearded, charismatic hipster, Casey was my type, and like a pool shark with all geometric possibility stacked against him, I strained to figure out my next move...
Hunter was holding my hand, we were planning a trip to The Olive Garden, and when I tried to make a break for the powder room, he insisted on tailing me for "safety reasons."
Mustlovepets was cock blocking me in the worst way and as I pulled up my Old Navy's, I knew that I had to accept defeat.
"Not so fast," fate interrupted in the form of what looked like a shady narcotic exchange between Hunter and some hot Latin dude.
I had a plan.
First step: Irish good bye.
Next step: Call Hinano's and get Casey on the phone.
Yeah, Hinano's. Where the pair of bar tenders have 14 teeth collectively and more tattoos than season one of Lock Up.
They're a surly lot, and this would be no small task.
From the comfort of my Honda Civic, I, swallowed hard and dialed the number.
"Hinano's. The kitchen closed an hour ago."
Ya know that kind of customer service that gives you the warm fuzzies?
"I was just in there, and I was talking to this guy and I never got a chance to give him my number."
Inner dialogue: "Hang up! Abort! Abort!"
"This guy, he's tall, had a beard, wearing a plaid shirt."
Luckily, Casey's a regular. And we're going day drinking next Tuesday. Who's in?
SUMMARY: dating reviews pets
The bartenders at Hinano's are excellent wingmen.
And so my quest for love continues...
dating reviews pets
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dating reviews pets