Alaskan Woman Used Her Vagina To Stash Her Cash

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Alaskan Woman Hides Cash Drugs In Vagina

An Alaskan woman named Chelsea Sperry found a novel hiding place to stash her cash in order to hide it from the police.  Her vagina.

Proving that a woman's vajayjay is impressively larger on the inside than it looks on the outside, she also managed to conceal drugs, pills and baggies as well as the wad of notes.

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It all started when police in Fairbanks were called to an adult novelty store after a couple tried to buy some sexy merchandise with a $100 bill clearly marked "for motion picture use only".  The clerk smelled something fishy, and realizing the $100 was fake, called 911.

The male half of the couple handed the woman, Chelsea Sperry, a large wad of cash and waited for the police to arrive.  Sperry fled from the store in a green sedan, but was soon pulled over by the cops who had been given her description by the store clerk.

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Chelsea Sperry looks a little uncomfortable/wasted after being pulled over...

The police discovered that Sperry, 31,  was driving on a suspended license, so she was arrested and taken to Fairbanks Correctional Center which is where the fun started.

A corrections officer at the jail apparently observed Sperry "making furtive movement towards her vagina" (how great is that phrase) and decided to put her through a body scanner, which showed objects in her vagina and anus that just had no business being there.

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A lucky female corrections officer performed a manual recovery of the objects* and was surprised by the sheer number of items the orifice held;

  • Six $100 bills
  • Three $50 bills
  • Several $20 bills (all the bills were counterfeit and of the same serial # as the note from the adult store)
  • Two baggies of methamphetamine
  • Baggie containing seven morphine sulfate pills
  • Two baggies containing a "brown tarry substance" which later tested positive for heroin
  • A baggie containing 40 smaller baggies

Impressive huh?  As a reader of original article in the Fairbanks Daily News-Miner asked "How big of a hoohaa does this woman have?" Answer; "Bigger than a backpack"

A quick check of Sperry's butt revealed a genuine $10 bill. Huh? Why hide a genuine note? Love the way that she separated real from fake though, gotta admire her organisation instincts.

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Sperry was indicted on felony narcotics and forgery charges and freed on a $5000 bond.

Remember the man left at the store? Well he was actually Sperry's boyfriend named Jeffrey Martin, and a search of him turned up several hundred dollars and a digital scale.  Oh how I would love to be able to tell you that the items were discovered up his ass, but sadly not, just in his pockets. He was not arrested or charged though.

Learning point of this story is NEVER EVER lick your fingers while counting cash.

At Last! Those Vagina Emojis We’ve All Been Waiting For Are Here!

Alaskan Woman Hides Cash Drugs In Vagina

* Boy would they have to pay me a LOT to do that job. I mean, that poor woman has to go home and be a normal person and make dinner for her family.  Can you imagine being her husband and throwing out the required "how was your day?" and hearing THAT story while  trying to eat the delicious meal she has prepared with the same hands that only hours earlier...

Alaskan Woman Hides Cash Drugs In Vagina

Alaskan Woman Hides Cash Drugs In Vagina

 

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