"Because...he's president and he's on fiii-rrrre...." Alicia Keys was a featured performer at last night's Inaugural Ball, and unlike the rest of those hired guns who just sang their songs in honor of our 44th President's re-election, Keys actually re-wrote the lyrics to her most recent hit, turning her "Girl on Fire" into "O...bama's on fiiiiyahhhhhh!!!!"

The results were about as awkward as can be expected, containing lyrics like "He's living in a world in it's on fire / Filled with catastrophe, but he knows he can fly away." Uhh, he can? We sorta hope that he doesn't have a built-in exit strategy like that. Still, Keys is always so sincere and invested with her performances that it's hard to be too cynical about it.

"Everybody knows that Michelle is his girl / And together they run the world / And we gonna let it burn, baby, burn..." Hopefully not literally?