The aliens are "up to something," according to US politicians and the upcoming Pentagon report
Next up in our hellish timeline: Aliens are coming. In fact, it seems like they're already here … so what are they waiting for? Take us away already, we hate it here!
The most highly anticipated drops of the summer are as follows: herd immunity, more Lorde music, and the Pentagon UFO report. Though an early version of the report was already released, the full Pentagon-approved tea on aliens is set for official publication on June 25th 2021.
We already know that UFOs have been spotted out and about — former President Obama famously said, "What is true, and I'm actually being serious here, is that there is footage and records of objects in the skies that we don't know exactly what they are'' during a book tour interview on The Late Late Show with James Corden.
But are they dropping in for a chat? Are they taking the scenic route on a road trip back home? Are they taking us away from here with them (haha jk … unless...)?
Of course, some US politicians, who were apparently given advance details about the Pentagon brief, are preparing for, like ...war.
New York Democratic Congressman Sean Patrick Maloney said: "We take the issue of unexplained aerial phenomena seriously to the extent that we're dealing with the safety and security of US military personnel or the national security interests of the United States, so we want to know what we're dealing with."
And so far, what we're dealing with seems to be lightyears ahead of us. Though some speculate that UFOs are just drones from other countries, Luis Elizondo, the former director of the Advanced Aerospace Threat Identification Program detailed the advanced technology that many UFOs have and their unexplained capabilities. "We've had incidents where these UAPs have interfered and actually brought offline our nuclear capabilities," he told the Washington Post, seemingly confirming the claim that the aliens are up to something.
"We are quite convinced that we're dealing with a technology that is multigenerational, several generations ahead of what we consider next generation technology, so what we would consider beyond next generation technology," Elizondo continued. "Something that could be anywhere between 50 to 1,000 years ahead of us."
All of which to say: The aliens are here and I feel like an unprepared hostess — like, look at the state of things: most of the world still riddled with plague, the mess we made of the environment, Trump's toupee … everything is embarrassing. But at least Bezos is launching himself out of here so we're making headway on our alien-party prep.
Aliens, if you're reading this, I'm so excited to meet you. Can I offer you a La Croix?