Many of Cosby’s fans are reluctant to believe the allegations against the 77-year-old, whose long running sitcom, The Cosby Show, was a family favorite for decades, something Schumer plays up to the max—reminding the fictional court jury of how warm and fuzzy Dr. Huxtable has made us all feel over the years.
“Let's remind ourselves what's at stake here,” Schumer says. “If convicted, the next time you put on a rerun of The Cosby Show you may wince a little, you might feel a little pang. And none of us deserve that. We don't deserve to feel that pain.”
“Did anyone feel raped by that? How about drugged? No? Me neither,” she deadpans after playing a clip from the show to the jury. “I felt comforted by a familiar father figure.”
“We deserve to dance like no one's watching and watch like no-one's raping,” Schumer charges, breaking out into a Cosby style dance, before explaining to the jury that the show “stands for happiness, laughter and nostalgia” therefore, Cosby is “not guilty.”
Serena Williams on Stuben rape victims: “Do you think it was fair, what they got? They did something stupid, but I don’t know. I’m not blaming the girl, but if you’re a 16-year-old and you’re drunk like that, your parents should teach you: don’t take drinks from other people. She’s 16, why was she that drunk where she doesn’t remember? It could have been much worse. She’s lucky. Obviously I don’t know, maybe she wasn’t a virgin, but she shouldn’t have put herself in that position, unless they slipped her something, then that’s different.”
Mia Farrow testifying on behalf of Roman Polanski:
“Of his frame of mind when we were there, of what we talked about, of his utter sense of loss, of despair and bewilderment and shock and love - a love he had lost. Of this I can be sure. I would not have left him in Elaine's unattended without trusted friends ...”
Judy Finnegan on convicted rapist footballer Ched Evans:
“He’s served his time. The rape and I am not, please, by any means minimising any kind of rape – but the rape was not violent. He didn’t cause any bodily harm to the person. It was unpleasant, in a hotel room, I believe, and she was – she had far too much to drink. That is reprehensible, but he has been convicted and he has served his time. Now when he comes out, what are we supposed to do? Just actually refuse to let him do his job? Again, even though he has already been punished?”
Helen Mirren on convicted rapist Mike Tyson: "It’s such a tricky area, isn’t it? Especially if there is no violence. I mean, look at Mike Tyson. I don’t think he was a rapist. I guess it is one of the many subtle parts of the men/women relationship that has to be negotiated and worked out between them.”
Diane Keaton on Woody Allen:
"He's the strongest person I've met in my life. He's made of steel. And talk about a work ethic – he's one of the people that really did teach me that you have to work hard. But he wanted to. He's the most disciplined person I've known, with the exception of my dad... Oh, well, yes. I love him."
"I have nothing to say about that. Except: I believe my friend."
Debra Winger on Roman Polanski:
“We hope today this latest (arrest) order will be dropped. It is based on a three-decades-old case that is dead but for minor technicalities. We stand by him and await his release and his next masterpiece.
“We came to Zurich to honor Roman Polanski as a great artist but under these sad and arcane circumstances we can only think of him today as a human being uncertain of the year ahead. His life has always informed his art and it always will.”
Barbara Walters on Woody Allen:
"I have rarely seen a father as sensitive, as loving and as caring as Woody is and Soon-Yi to these two girls. I don't know about Dylan. I can only tell you what I have seen now. That it's a good marriage, and he's a loving, caring father. I think that has to be said."
Whoopi Goldberg on Roman Polanski and Samantha Geimer:
“I know it wasn't rape-rape. It was something else but I don't believe it was rape-rape. He went to jail and and when they let him out he was like "You know what this guy's going to give me a hundred years in jail I'm not staying, so that's why he left.”