I’m sure many a cunnilingal enthusiast has said, “Damn, I wish I just had a tongue so I could use it whenever I want!”

Well, one Little Rock, Arkansas resident was not going to stand idly by in the face of such longing- she is a woman of action! But, she is also a woman who forgets, and you never want to forget you left a deer tongue inside your vagina.

Fortunately, she had lots of discharge had a “very bad odor” to alert her that something was afoot. Doctors ran tests, and all tests were negative. Well, almost all the tests.

So the doctor shrugged it off. Typical stuff. Yeast infection, bacterial infection, not-so-fresh feeling.

But he changed his cavalier tune when the results of the pap smear came back and indicated that cells taken from the exam were not human. It could not determine the origin of the cells: all they knew was that they were not human cells.

Alaskan Woman Used Her Vagina To Stash Her Cash

The doctor requested suggested the woman come back for a repeat exam. Pretty routine stuff, really. She stripped below the waist, climbed on to the table, and propped her feet up. The doctor inserted his speculum, and scooped out a large piece of gelatinous, decaying flesh.

The doctor was freaked.

“During the exam, I was utterly shocked with what I had found. Never in my 33 years of practice have I seen anything like this,” Dr. Lee told the American Journal of Forensic Medicine and Pathology. “What I removed from the woman, looked like a long tongue, but certainly not a human tongue. Then, what she admitted to her husband after the exam, was even more disturbing.”

After her husband’s recent hunting trip, he brought home a deer and gutted and dressed it in their garage. She couldn’t help admiring the tongue’s impressive length and girth, tongue, admired its length, and had snuck off with it to pleasure herself.

She didn’t remember leaving it up there.

Right. ‘Cuz that happens. Like the time I forgot I Ieft my car keys up there. Had to take the bus for months.