In a city jam packed full of testosterone, egos and power-hungry celebrity makers and breakers, there's a lot of competition when it comes to biggest dick in town.
But, one supposed Hollywood insider claims to have the inside track on who's packing, and who's lacking in Tinseltown, and their prodigious peen pick may come as a surprise.
The Divine Miss M appeared on Jimmy Kimmel's always amazing Celebrities Read Mean Tweets segment earlier this week, and she seemed pretty damn chuffed to learn of her newly awarded accolade.
Doing her very best impression of Helen Mirren, the ever fabulous 69-year-old appeared on the Jimmy Kimmel Live stage and read out StudioExec1's tweet, “Some people ask me who has the biggest penis in Hollywood. Easy. Bette Midler."
After a few seconds of dead panning—because its all about the timing sweeties—Midler raised her fist victoriously, shaking it in the air, big grin firmly on face.
And, of course she did. Because she's Bette Midler. And Bette Midler mother f**king ROCKS.
As did the other social media maligned celebs who took to the stage to read out their own beautifully crafted toxic tweet barbs.
Jeff Bridges, “Am now convinced Jeff Bridges is a crazy f**ker and not in a cool way, just in a disturbed hobo shouting at sparrows and sidewalks way"
Kristen Bell, “Kristen Bell seems like such a bitch, her v*g*na is probably an Alcatraz for p*nis"
Benedict Cumberbatch, “If you find Benedict Cumberbatch attractive, I'm guessing you'd also quite enjoy staring directly at a cats anus"
Liam Neeson, “Liam Neeson is a butterface, in that his face looks like a butt. Eat shit fart breath Neeson."
Emily Blunt, “Emily blunt's eyes make up for that horrendous sound that comes out of her mouth #britishaccent"
Salma Hayek, “I hate salma hayek movies…. her voice annoys me and they never show us her boobs. Meh"
Andrew Garfield, “Is Andrew garfield trying to do his utter best to look like a pedophile that lives in an RV"
Jack Black, “Is jack black married cause thats f**kin gross"
Halle Berry, “Halle Barrie's [sic] boobs are lopsided"
Tobey Maguire, “Conspiracy theory: Toby [sic] Maguire is just a hamster in a robot"
Naomi Watts, "Not to sound mean but Naomi Watts has such a blah face? I look at it and there's just…nothing, like a blank space where features should be"
George Clooney, “Hey George Clooney, ur haircut suxz. Oh and so does ur sense of humor. I'm on you all night f**k boy"
Dwayne Johnson, “I'm really sick of seeing the rock…. blah blah blah dwayne johnson…blah blah blah candy ass movie star….blah blah blah go suck it!"