Big Butts have been linked to intelligence, according to new research in the UK.

Kim Kardashian, call Nicki Minaj and Amber Rose! You three need to get to work on curing cancer, tout suite!

Evidence shows that fat depots in the body are not the same.

Basically, big butts equal big brains.

Maintaining a larger behind requires significant amounts of Omega 3 fats, which are proven to boost brain function, memory and cognitive abilities. Research also shows that children born to women with wide hips are more intelligent compared to those conceived by thinner and less curvy mothers.

Big butts also lower the risk of chronic diseases!

The protective properties of the lower-body fat depot have been confirmed in many studies, according to scientists writing in the Journal of Obesity.

Now here comes the best part:

Having a big butt also favors dinopectina, a hormone with anti-inflammatory, vascular-protective and anti-diabetic attributes. The adipose tissue of the buttocks traps harmful fatty particles and prevents cardiovascular disease.

Isn't it great to know that your fat ass is not just useless baggage? The so-called junk in your trunk is in fact a ton of harmful fatty particles doing their best to keep you healthy!

Back to the intelligence link.

Ladies, hasn't it always been instinctive knowledge that those models with their tiny, boyish butts are total morons??

I mean, come on. Giselle, Taylor Swift, we're talking dunce-level IQ's.

If nature wanted us to have the butts of 12 year old boys, then all men would be Dennis Hastert or Jerry Sandusky!

Small butts are not only unnatural but unhealthy, we can now confirm.


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When you turn around to ask for an appraisal of your butt in those jeans, now you can ask, 'Does my butt look big enough?'

The only question that remains is how to determine which of our reigning large-bottomed icons is the closest in intelligence to Einstein?

Here's a math problem for you to do at home.

If Kim is Einstein, whose ass represents Stephen Hawking? Nicki? And whose is Sir Isaac Newton?

Maybe it's not really a math problem. I don't know, because of my paltry butt. It's not my fault.