Brandi Glanville Calum Best train wreck rolls on….Oh Brandi, Brandi, Brandi…will you never learn?
How do you solve a problem like Brandi?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find the word that means Brandi?
A flibbertijibbet! A will-o'-the wisp! A clown!
Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay and listen to all you say
How do you keep a wave upon the sand?
Oh, how do you solve a problem like Brandi?
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?
When something STARTS in tears, you know it's definitely going to end in tears, right?
Brandi is like that really good girlfriend whose head you just want to bang against a wall.
Because, when it comes to her choice of men, she just can't get her shit together.
Case in point, Calum.
You didn't have to be a genius to know that Brandi and Calum together in a house was going to result in fireworks and drama.
She's totally his type—gorgeous, fit, neurotic.
He's totally her type—gorgeous, fit, emotionally unavailable.
And, sure enough, just two episodes into the new E! TV show,
Famously Single, and the Brandi Calum dramarama is palpable.
Bizarrely however, they appear to have managed to skip the endorphin flooded can't stop fucking phase, and skipped straight to the seven year itch, can't stop fighting stage.
In fact, as Calum admitted
during last night's episode, they haven't even shagged yet—all that drama with absolutely none of the pay-off!
Brandi was in floods of tears following some perceived transgression on Calum's behalf during a night out together.
Calum returned a short time later—and, in typical Calum fashion, was completely oblivious to the drama that had unfolded around him.
When filled in on the Brandi tears before bedtime situation, Calum blamed it on the alc, alc, alc, alcohol.
"You know how she gets after a few glasses of wine," the lusty Lothario announced, brushing the drama firmly under the rug.
To fester nicely until it surfaces again some other day.
Because, surface again it will…..you know that shit.
The fledgling couple has already butted heads on the show.
There was the time
Calum forgot Brandi's name, and accidentally called her Aubrey.
Then there was the time
Calum ditched Brandi to go on a date with some random chick he was fixed up with at a mixer.
He actually backtracked on his decision at the last minute, after housemate
Josh Murray said he fancied the same chick, explaining,
Realistically if it's about going on dates with people, me and Brandi went on a date and had a really, really amazing time.
So I will happily bow out gracefully and happily have Brandi and I go on another date and Josh can go on a date.
But, not surprisingly, Brandi was less than thrilled by Calum's change heart.
"I am not your fucking back-up plan, motherfucker!" She warned Best.
Glanville's been single since her horrifically painful divorce from
Eddie Cibrian—the father of her two sons.
Rimes and Cibrian
have since married, but, not surprisingly, Glanville's been struggling with trust issues, and has remained single while rebuilding her life.
she decided to appear on Famously Single as a way to work out where she's been going wrong with men:
I've been single for 7 years, since my divorce, so obviously I'm doing something wrong.
When this got offered to me I thought, why not try it and put it out there so I can watch it back and see what I'm doing wrong.
Watching yourself back, it really shows you things that you do wrong.
Well, we can tell you for free Brandi, Calum Best is definitely wrong sweetheart.
But, Brandi being Brandi, she refuses to see the wood for the trees—or rather, refuses to see the Calum for the wood.
I don't like blonde guys, I don't like tattoos and I don't like guys who smoke and [Calum's] all of those things.
We had magic, it made me feel nice, made me feel like a girl again.
He lives in the UK, we're worlds apart, (but) we are in touch every day and we've remained close for the past 6 months, I'm seeing him soon.
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