The Coachella poster's been thoroughly parodied by now, but every year gets the parody it deserves. Last year, we had the duded-up Brochella, but that's no longer news in this year of arena EDM and brostep and Fred Durst having a record deal again. We all know what the big Coachella story is. Now it's a big Coachella meme, too:
Guys, half of this stuff's already happened. A third of these bands have reunited, albeit not in their original lineups. Michael Jackson's given a hologram concert already. And it's been decades since the Beatles established that they're bigger than Jesus. But do you think the ghost of Biggie, or the ghost in the Biggie machine, or however we're going to ontologically define this hologram fuckery, is happy about being so far down on the list? Would Tupac be that tiny? Where's the holographic Nate Dogg we were promised? Couldn't they exhume any dead electronic artists? And oh man, can you imagine the tabloid hijinks that hologram Mozart would get up to? These are serious debates that we seriously must have now!
Actually, no they're not. In 2013, the audience will all be holograms too, and us writers will outsource the reporting and wisecracks to our hologram doppelgangers while we fester inside underground bunkers or the Matrix pods or something. It doesn't take a computer brain to predict that.
It was always her dance floor.
Few artists have given as much of themselves to their fans as Lady Gaga.
Since being ordained queen of the nightclub (not to mention the pregame, the getting-ready-bedroom-dance, the drag show, and the summer night drive) in 2008 with "Just Dance," the hit single from her hit debut album The Fame, Gaga has continued to surprise fans with constant reinvention. She cemented her place as the pop-artist of a generation with Born This Way and even (as over-produced as it was) Art Pop, and then, shockingly, went on to release a jazz standard's album with Tony Bennett (Cheek to Cheek), a country album (Joanne), and finally become an Oscar-nominated actress for A Star Is Born. Somehow, she pulled off every iteration of herself with charisma and grace.
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You can bid on a legal document that grants you ownership of a percentage of Grimes' soul.
If you're feeling particularly soulless as of late, you're not alone!
Grimes, who birthed both a studio album and her first son earlier this year, isn't letting a world in shambles keep her from Grimesing on. She's now dabbling into fine art too, making her debut in simultaneous online exhibitions on Gallery Platform Los Angeles (May 28 through June 3) and Maccarone Los Angeles (May 28 through Aug. 31). The show is called Selling Out and features a piece also called "Selling Out" that contains part of Grimes' soul.