Game-winners crown this week's list, including a last-second stunner for Bayern and a title-winning goal by Batshuayi.
BRONZE: Arjen Robben vs. Leipzig
Thomas Müller serves a long pass to Arjen Robben, sprinting down the right sideline, with the game tied at four and the clock ticking past the 94th minute. Robben taps the ball past one defender and darts around him on the other side, racing full tilt past a second defender and bending in toward the goal. One Bayern teammate fights for an open position in the center of the penalty box but Robben outruns his man with ridiculous ball control and chips it almost backwards past the keeper and into the net for a whistle-beater win.
SILVER: Messi breaking hearts and ankles
Don't give Messi the ball in front of the goal. Or just outside the 18. Or anywhere on your side of the field if you're his opponent. He's deadly. Watch "the electric eel covered in vaseline" viciously topple a defender with his sharp juke and sneak the ball through every defender from outside the 18 into the back of the net. Without even looking at the net, he skims the ball under the feet of at least five Villarreal defenders before it deflects lightly off of a leg and nets a second point for Barca.
GOLD: Michy Batshuayi gets the gold for Chelsea
Chelsea won their second Premier League championship in three years with comically messy, late goal by substitute Michy Batshuayi. It didn't come until the 81st minute of a scoreless game and it didn't come easily, but after quite a bit of bouncing around Batshuayi's foot was the one to send it into the net for a point. The videos above don't do it justice, but the goal followed a comedy routine of missed shots and deflected clearances that kept the camera operators busy. Batshuayi's goal was only his second of the Premier League season.
The rest of the best:
Patience brought the ball to James Rodriguez's head after it soared across the penalty box twice. When the first cross lands at the feet of Fábio Coentrão and the defender slips, he sends it right back to the center of the goal where Rodriguez races in to meet it with his head. His second of the game, it boosted Real Madrid to a 4-0 win over Granada.
Real Madrid, Pt. 2
Superb dribbling by Alvaro Morata lets him maneuver around and through the Granada defense, right up to the left corner of the goal. And from there, it's a bullet into the far corner. Morata's goal gave Real their fourth in the first half and, even with a scoreless second half, gave them insurance for an easy win.
Back 2 Barca
Suarez floats onsides along the line of defense to take the pass before pulling a nasty right cut past the defender. That's all the opening he needs for a skipped shot into the goal in the 68th minute, completing the Messi-Neymar-Suarez trifecta. Unfair. Just unfair.
Self-help off the corner
From the corner, the ball soars into the goalie box and off one foot and off another and off the post and off another foot and is it a goal? No… yes! The review shows that the ball was across the line when the defense kicked it out, giving Bordeaux their second and the lead.
Tip of the hat
Past three defenders in green the ball finds Plasil who gives it a perfect boost with the back of his head, popping it to Laborde on the other side of the net. That's a Harlem Globetrotter-style stunt by the striker, almost catching the ball between the shoulder blades.
He's only 19 but his game is bolder
A beautiful pass from Younes finds Dolberg with a wide open field between him and the net. With the awareness of a veteran, the 19-year-old holds onto the ball until the keeper comes to him, chipping it lightly over his arm into the far corner. The defender chasing it down has no chance of catching up to the meandering shot.
Man U. longshot
Another incredible long-distance setup, this one from United's Rashford, flies like a Brett Favre Hail Mary right to the hair of Fellaini inches in front of the goal. The goal put Man U. up early in the second leg of the Europa League semifinal and though the game ended in a 1-1 draw, United held onto a 2-1 win on aggregate.
Losers wait for the bounce
Dani Alves doesn't wait for the bounce. Dani Alves watch the keeper punch the ball like a pass right to him and takes all the time in the world lining up a perfect line drive. All of the angles and timing and velocities line up for a sharpshooter shot past the diving keeper. Only an expert succeeds at an attempt like this.