People just have no sense of humor these days. So Mary J. Blige wants to maybe make $2 million for a weird Burger King commercial where she sings the ingredients of a Chicken Snack Wrap to the tune of one of her songs that nobody knows. Is that really worth freaking out about? Were Hootie and the Blowfish fans going nuts when Darius Rucker was serenading Brook Burke about the Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch back in the day? Are we holding Mary J. Blige to some artistic standard that pretends she never had her music in an iTunes ad or never indulged in a paycheck cameo on Entourage? Someone's gonna get paid for this nonsense—and such fellow celebs as Jay Leno and David Beckham have already been tabbed to endorse the BK product as well—so why not the Queen?
Someone certainly appears to object. The ridiculous commercial was removed today from YouTube, amidst a fan backlash that may or may not be the cause for the blackout. Madame Noire, the self-proclaimed "Black Woman's Lifestyle Guide," called Mary J. out in a big way, asking the R&B legend "Do you see what you’ve done? Do you see the ramifications of your actions? You compromised your art to sell chicken wraps for the man." BK didn't answer Gawker's phone calls on the matter, and on their Twitter page...holy crap, does Burger King actually not have a Twitter page? How quaint.
Anyway, we'd be lying if we said we weren't exceedingly amused by this stupid Burger King commercial. Here's a pictoral chronology of the things we love about Mary's sell-out spectacular.
1. The guy with the goony facial expression ordering the snack wrap.
2. Mary just hanging out in the back, waiting to sing an explanation as to what's inside the Chicken Snack Wrap.
3. Burger King employee looking nervous about Mary's inevitable jingle performance.
4. Crazy Mary intensely making the "Fresh lettuce" hand motion.
5. Nervous employee letting loose and singing along with Mary's jingle performance.
It's a secretly brilliant commercial, trust us. If you don't agree, just watch it a half-dozen more times.