Conspiracy Theory Thursday—Britney Spears Was On George Bush's Payroll

britney spears george bush payroll

Britney Spears' 2007 meltdown is the stuff of celebrity legend.

The most notorious of a series of bizarre events and public outbursts was the head shaving incident which ultimately resulted in her receiving a conservatorship and losing custody of her children to ex-hubby Kevin Federline.

The Theory

Conspiracists claim that Britney was actually working for the George W Bush administration in a low-key-off- the-books type of role.

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Her purported mission was to divert attention from any potential negative PR problems that Dubya was facing, by creating a hugely public diversion, thus stealing the headlines.

The "Proof"

  • January 5, 2004—President Bush needs to publicly distance himself from the Valerie Plame scandal (whereby Plame, a covert CIA operative, was exposed by a leak from within the Bush administration).  Britney steps up to the plate with her notorious 55 hour marriage to Jason Alexander, which was way way more interesting to the headline writers than Plamegate.
  • April 11, 2006—George Bush's approval ratings have hit an all time low of 38% thanks to the endless casualties of the controversial Iraq war.  Visits from Child Welfare and a sheriff's deputy to Britney's home to talk about her parenting skills (her 6 month old baby Sean was alleged to have been injured after being dropped from his high chair, which came only two months after she was pictured driving with him on her lap), manage to ensure the Toxic songstress is top of the news though.
  • November 6, 2006—The Republican party is facing the most fiercely contested election in many years. 33 Senate seats and 435 House seats are available and public opinion is not going in their favor.  In order to divert attention, Brit announces her split from hubby Kevin Federline.
  • February 2007—President George Bush announces the reformation of Al Qaeda, which could be potentially damaging for his presidency, seeing as how he's promised to hunt them down and eliminate them in the wake of 9/11.  The blot on Bush's landscape is expertly diverted thought, by Brit Brit's epic public outburst when she ducked out of rehab and shaved her head.
  • March 14, 2007—President Bush's Attorney General Alberto Gonzales is coming under heavy criticism (that would later lead to his resignation) for the firing of eight US attorneys. The firings were found to have been heavily influenced by assessments of the prosecutors' political loyalty to the Bush Administration. Could have been awkward but for the fact that on the very same day that Gonzales publicly admitted that mistakes were made, the headlines were full of news of Britney's hook up in rehab with a second rate rocker, Jason Filyaw.
  • Spears fiercely defended Bush in the Michael Moore movie Farenheit 9/11.
  • The singer was rumored to have been caught canoodling with senior Bush White House adviser Karl Rove during a 2002 Cirque de Soleil show in Rome, providing proof of an early link between Washington and Spears.

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Enough for you? Convinced that Britney was on the Bush payroll?

 

 

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