Here's some afternoon news that may hit you harder than today's East Coast earthquake: Courtney Stodden and her sometimes-actor husband Doug Hutchison are in "negotiations" for their own reality show. Get your collective groans, shrieks and tears out now, but it's not like we didn't see this coming. Heck, we might as well hold ourselves partially responsible. The newlyweds are reportedly working with an "amazing production team" for an ingenious, breathtaking creation, unlike which the world has never seen. "It's going to be a reality show like no other. Out of this world," Courtney told an Aussie morning show during their recent press junket Down Under—because a couple can only be humiliated by ordained priests so many times on American television. The interview came with what by now is the requisite ickiness, along with Courtney's clear bra straps, the introduction of their dogs Tuna and Bizarre (their names, not ours) and her last-ditch attempt to be the Jessica Simpson of 2011. Behold the video below. When asked about his attraction to the 16-year-old Courtney, Doug, 51, explained that she's actually an old soul with a lot (of opportunities) in front of her. "I have a lot in front of me, yes," she replied, laughing at her own blatant grossness naughtiness. "I think that's what seduced him to me!" Heh. Maybe she is 16 after all?

It's likely this reality show will teach young audiences what Simpson and then-husband Nick Lachey imparted on the preceding generation. Plus, Courtney is just a proponent of love who wants others to experience her joy. "When you find that one man that you know you love and you love everything about him—his face, his body, his hair—go for it!" Yes, go for it! Even if your mom needs to sign a permission slip first. We're just glad young girls will finally have a good role model.

[Best Week Ever]