Eva Mendes is opening up on how she keeps the flame alive with Ryan Gosling (other than trapping him with a child, amirite?) - and it's as basic as you'd expect.

Continuing her campaign to be the most relentlessly unlikable actress in Hollywood, Eva's response to how she keeps Ryan happy is absolutely ridiculous.

When asked if she ever gets cozy in her sweatpants at home, the 41-year-old acted as if someone just asked her if she likes to pee in his cornflakes:

"No, no, no!" she told Extra. "Sweatpants, no, no, no, no. No, no, you can't do sweatpants. Ladies, number one cause of divorce in America is sweatpants. No, you can't do that."

Jesus, calm down, Eva. WE GET IT. If you're not in full hair and makeup your partner, who is the father of your child, will not find you attractive.

Got it.

Also, do you believe for a second - ONE SECOND - that this tiresome woman has never been in sweatpants around Ryan? If she really, truly hasn't, what a freaking sad, weird relationship.

Ryan... it's still not too late!