Women. Sure we like to spend some quality time with our genitals after a screening of, say, Magic Mike, but it’s not exactly like we beat off. Or jerk off, or spank it.
What’s a horned up girl to do?
Thanks to Sweden, we now have our answer.
The Swedes somewhat cleverly combined the words "clitoris" (klitoris) and "glitter" (glittra) to help libidinous ladies feel more sex positive about their solo sessions.
In 2014, the Swedish Association for Sexuality Education (RFSU) took a proactive stance on masturbating women and decided to take it to the streets.
"When it comes to masturbation, people mostly think about just men doing it and we don't think of it as common for women. If we don't have a word in the language, how can we even talk about it?" RFSU spokeswoman Kristina Ljungros pondered.
The fact that there is no Swedish word for female masturbation rubbed Ljungros the wrong way. She insisted on paving a new way for her oppressed masses.
And so The RFSU called upon its female citizens to submit the perfect selfie synonym. Over 1,200 submissions poured in, but "klittra" beat off the competition. Beat out. Whatever.
Other contenders included "pulla," "runka" and "selfa."
Now The RFSU is trying to induct the word into Sweden's dictionary. Come to think of it, they should change that word, too. Why can't it be "vagionary?"
"We are trying to put sexuality on the agenda -- the positive aspects," Ljungros said. "We want to focus on the good parts, the lust."
One problem: “Klittra” is a noun, and if anyone is going to be satisfied, shouldn't it be a verb?