Fifty Shades Of Grey But Not One Tampon

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Fifty Shades Of Grey director San Taylor-Johnson has revealed that the film will not include the book's notorious tampon scene. In fact, she told Variety, 'It was never even discussed.'

Let me admit that I haven't read the book, but since I live on planet Earth, I'm aware of the book's subject matter.

So, noticing social media chatter about the missing tampon scene, I had to wonder what the fuss was about. And brace yourself if you didn't read the book either because you're going to need your smelling salts.

In the book, there is a scene where the man REMOVES HIS LOVER'S TAMPON before having sex with her!

In a story about sexual obsession and S & M, one assumes there all all kinds of kinky goings on and even naughty things being inserted in naughty places, but evidently the world is not ready for a man touching a tampon because...

Actually, I have no idea. Because menstruation is just too icky? Even in an age when people on TV casually talk about squirting and anal sex, a tampon is too much to handle.

Wait, can I just share the shocking moment when this sacrilege occurs in the book?

“When did you start your period, Anastasia?” he asks out of the blue, gazing down at me.

“Err… yesterday,” I mumble in my highly aroused state.

“Good.” He releases me and turns me around.

“Hold on to the sink,” he orders and pulls my hips back again, like he did in the playroom, so I’m bending down.

He reaches between my legs and pulls on the blue string… what! And… a gently pulls my tampon out and tosses it into the nearby toilet. Holy fuck. Sweet mother of all… Jeez. And then he’s inside me… ah! Skin against skin… moving slowly at first… easily, testing me, pushing me… oh my.

I grip on to the sink, panting, forcing myself back on him, feeling him inside me. Oh the sweet agony… his hands clasp my hips.

Hahahaha! I'm sorry, but wow, this is the book's 'most talked about scene', according to Huffington Post.

The only thing I find shocking is that the guy throws the tampon in the toilet. Good luck with the plumbing, idiots!

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