So let's say you're sitting around your office at Star magazine, cooking up stories for tomorrow. Jennifer Aniston has already had several sets of twins and secret weddings. Kanye has abandoned Kim, with a messy divorce to follow. Princess Kate and the Queen have pummeled each other with blunt objects. The Willis girls have shaved their heads or their nipples.
Brainstorm! How about if Brad and Angie invite Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes over to hang out and talk about babies! This is so perfect, a complete no-brainer! Two high-powered couples who have nothing to do with each other and no known close friends on either side.
Ryan and Eva like a low profile existence, Angie and Brad contact the paps whenever it's time to buy their kids a toy or for Angie to pretend to eat a bag of McDonald's fries. A perfect match!
Best of all, no one will bother to deny such a fatuous but benign story. So it's on. And the Daily Mail earnestly quotes the imaginary sources who told Star:
Angelina Jolie, 39, and Brad Pitt, 51, had new parents Eva Mendes, 40, and Ryan Gosling, 34, over for lunch at their sprawling Los Feliz mansion in Los Angeles. Recently. Brad and Ryan have been getting to know each other ahead of shooting their film The Big Short.
Also along for the visit was Eva and Ryan's new baby Esmeralda, born in September 2014. Brad and Ryan have become really close buddies,' a source told the weekly.'And Eva has been a huge fan of Angelina's for years. She was dying to meet her.'
Oh, how nice! It's lovely when stars make friends, even if it's not true! Better yet, it's so cute when their kids play together, even when the age differences clearly prohibit that.
'They relaxed for a few hours while the kids played,' added the insider.
I just wish it didn't stop there. And you know, why should it! Let's have them all get into a hot tub when the sun goes down. Angie will wear a minimalist topless swimsuit, ready to compete if Eva should start breast feeding.
The men can smoke cigars or even pot, while they talk about production deals and back end profits. Man-talk.
Which couples would you like Star to place in imaginary situations next week? Reese Witherspoon and J Lo could get together to talk about their divorces, while the kids dye their hair and watch Novellas on Telemundo!