When we read the headline "Rihanna Is Forgiven By Bikini-Bashing Farmer" our interest was piqued. Surely we were in for a good dose of Crucible-style religious hypocrisy, in which the pious farmer who condemned Rihanna's scantily clad antics while filming the "We Found Love" video on his land last summer would reveal himself to be a self-serving jerk.

But then we read the original interview with Bangor farmer Alan Graham, and well, he actually seems very kind. From the Sun:

“I will not judge her and I will never condemn her. I found her to be a nice girl."

That's not "forgiving" at all! Come on the Sun. If you want to conjure up a celebrity feud, you've got to do better than that.