Grumpy Christmas Songs for the Grinch in All of Us

You've heard Mariah Carey for 4+ weeks straight. Take a moment to let out the Scrooge inside.

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Holiday songs usher in the season earlier and earlier every year, even encroaching on all those Thanksgiving favorites. No one will blame you for feeling a little exhausted by all the cheer and joy and jingle bells. So with less than twelve hours until the big man's arrival, take a moment to do a deep-breathing exercise and relish in the anger and sadness of some of the best grumpy Christmas music.

Your a mean one…

The classic. With some of the most gloriously grumpy lyrics and bah-humbug bass vocals to match, Thurl Ravenscroft's (a.k.a. Tony the Tiger) soundtrack highlight of Dr. Seuss's How the Grinch Stole Christmas is the perfect antithesis to all the cute and comfy soundtracks to ABC Family's 25 Days of Christmas. The song's colorful and hilarious lyrics also make it the most fun grouchy song of the holiday season. With the Grinch in competition with Ebenezer Scrooge for the most anti-Christmas character in literature, it's fitting that this song backs his most criminal actions in the movie. While the Grinch steals decorations, food, the tree—even lies to little Cindy Lou Who—Ravenscroft sings scathing lyrics like, "I wouldn't touch you with a 39-and-a-half foot pole." The song has been covered by many artists but one of the absolute best comes from Whirling Dervishes. Enjoy that amazingly evil melody.

Listen on iTunes.

Well I'm-uh havin' uh, uh-Blueeeee…

No one does a sad Christmas quite like the King. Complete with blues guitar chords and his smoother-than-smooth voice, Elvis somehow made a holiday heartbreak into one of the most popular Christmas songs of all time. In just ten lines of lyrics, Presley illustrates a scene of lost love and a lonely December 25. While the one that got away has a "Christmas of white," the King spends his day among the "blue snowflakes" and "blue memories" of the past. Yet the song is undeniably catchy and his talent makes it impossible to feel sad when it's playing. If Elvis's perfect version of this song isn't your style (I'm talking to you, nobody at all), try the Beach Boys' positively dreary cover from 1964 or Bruce Springsteen's from more recently.

Listen on iTunes.

Sad Sufjan

Did you know that Sufjan Stevens has recorded over one hundred Christmas songs? Does anyone know why a person would do such a thing? Regardless of these answers, "That Was the Worst Christmas Ever!"is one of the better tracks because of its grimness. "Our father yells / Throwing gifts in the wood stove," he sings, "My sister runs away / Taking her books to the schoolyard." The song descries a particularly painful childhood holiday in his whispery voice. A Christmas morning with someone tossing gifts into the stove definitely deserves a sad song like this one. And after a hundred holiday songs, I don't blame the guy for diving into the darkest corners of the holiday.

Listen on iTunes.

The Christmas Song

Weezer, oh Weezer, champions of the three-minute rock song. The band brings their skill at humor and melancholic melodies to the holiday season. "The Christmas Song" creates another scene of heartbreak around the tree. Cuomo sings,

You told me you would be here by my side

Warming my heart on this cold winter's night

Here I sit waiting beside the tree all by myself.

The guitar complements the dreary mood with heavy, tired chords and a low-key solo. It's classic Weezer with hints of Christmas thrown in—an antidote for anyone feeling sad or lonely during the holiday. Want more? Try the band's faithful cover of "O Holy Night," from their Christmas With Weezer EP.

Listen on iTunes.

Blink 182 Won't Be Home for Christmas

The title track of Blink 182's 2001 holiday EP, I Won't Be Home for Christmas, features anther rock band's take on holiday frustration. Instead of Weezer's loneliness, Blink are fed up with all the traditions and fake joy: "It's time to be nice to the people you can't stand all year, / I'm growing tired of all this Christmas cheer." The song is the upbeat rock song you'd expect from the band with all it's sarcastic humor. The song first came out in 1998 but when they rereleased it as part of the EP, it held the #1 spot on the Canadian charts for six weeks. That makes it the band's only Canadian number one, and also the country's longest-running #1 single, at the time. The song's best line: "You people scare me, just stay away from my home."

Listen on iTunes.

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