Gwyneth Paltrow To Launch Goop Brand Of Clothing and Beauty Products

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Brace yourselves,Team Gwyneth. GOOP is determined to survive, via your credit cards.

In an effort to reverse GOOP's declining popularity and financial losses, the company's CEO Lisa Gersh told the Sunday Times:

The good stuff, the lifestyle advice and the travel tips, will still be there. But we will be selling our own Goop brand of clothing and beauty products online. This is a chance to develop a massive new type of e-commerce company that was just not possible when I started out in the 1990s.

So this is a win-win, not for us maybe but for somebody somewhere. The 'good stuff' like lifestyle advice will continue to thrill and repel us, PLUS, now we will be bombarded with products that will enrich Gwyneth personally while making chumps of her acolytes.

The Goop brand products are bound to be priced to sell, considering the backlash to the lavish goods the website has been pimping since its inception. If Gwyneth hasn't learned her lesson about elitism, her new Chief Executive will clue her in.

Gersh was formerly president of Martha Stewart Living, and is no dummy.

I can't wait for the Goop-brand yoga pants, wine-glasses, hair-straightener, organic divorce handbook and whatnot. Every single item will represent Gwyneth's indomitable will to make us hate her. I mean, love her. Or at least think about her.