Maybe it's because we live in a culture where art is constantly derived from preexisting material, or maybe it's because Beyoncé's second single isn't that great (boom, said it: should have been "Countdown" or "End of Time"). Regardless, "Best Thing I Never Had" is on the path to getting reworked more times than Heidi Montag on a plastic surgeon's operating table, proving the message behind the piano-heavy kiss-off speaks to the masses, much like the drunken late night confessions of Drake's "Marvin's Room." (Of course, empowerment and progress are what great dance tracks are made of, right? Not sexual innuendo, pulsating synths and monotonous beats that carry you into the wee hours of the morning?) Friday we gave you the first crack by K.Michelle, whose angry and emotional "Worst Man I Ever Had" served more as catharsis than a contagious celebration. Today brings us the Gareth Wyn Club Mix, which is much more straightforward (no lyrical changes) yet injects B's creation with an extra shot of Red Bull (or better yet, Four Loko). At almost seven minutes, the exuberant track is long enough to be the soundtrack to your next marathon dance party and breakfast the morning after. Get your dance on, below.

Fun and games at school carnival

The Gazette (Colorado Springs, CO) February 29, 2000 | Rich Tosches I went to a District 20 elementary school carnival a few days ago, where kids bought 25-cent tickets and got to play all the traditional carnival games. (Footnote: The School District 11 carnival will be held next week. The highlight: For just $5.1 million, Superintendent Kenneth Burnley will guess your weight.) Anyway, the carnival at Woodmen-Roberts was wonderful, with kids from the upscale Peregrine neighborhood playing such old carnival standbys as:

Pop Goes the Stock Market. In this game, parents get to interact with the children, who throw darts at balloons to reveal messages. When the kids pop "Dow Jones Dips Below 9,000" their parents jump off the school's roof.

Wheel of Defense Lawyers. In this one, the kids spin a big wheel and win prizes when it stops on any of the three big slots: Temporary Insanity, Internet Intoxication and Calcium Deposits on the Brain.

OK, I made those up. But among the actual attractions was a petting zoo, where kids mingled with ducks and heard a steady stream of "quack, quack, quack" - something they were not accustomed to. site blocked games at school

The exceptions, of course, were the chiropractors' kids.

(For the animal-rights activists, there was a separate area where they could pat a head of lettuce and scratch some corn behind the ears.) Among the popular actual games was the Bean Bag Toss, where kids threw sacks at a plywood cutout of their school mascot - a wildcat - winning prizes by tossing the sacks into the cat's open mouth. go to website blocked games at school

Observing with great interest were members of the Colorado Division of Wildlife's troubled Lynx Reintroduction Unit, who jotted down notes such as: Replace bean bags with squirrels!

One of the highlights came at the Football Booth, where a baby- faced contestant tried in vain to toss the ball through an inflatable pool toy - falling down three times, throwing the ball awkwardly and nearly knocking a fire extinguisher off the wall before someone finally made him stop.

Watching this made me wonder:

About the state of our nation's physical fitness programs.

Why Broncos quarterback Brian Griese would drive all the way down here for a carnival.

The carnival also had bowling, with adults scurrying around, gathering up the pins and resetting them on the marks. This made it just like League Night at the Calhan Bowl-A-Drome. (Except at the school carnival, nobody won a cow.) Another very popular game was called Lucky Dip, which consisted of two boxes that you could plunge your hand into and pull out a prize such as a plastic whistle or a key chain.

(Next door was the slightly less popular game - Unlucky Dip - that featured just one box, which contained a wolverine.) And finally, there was an actual attraction called the Mystery Pen Game.

This one had a dozen pens, and you had to write your name over and over until you found the one pen that contained black ink. I am proud to announce that I won a comb.

And, as I found out Monday, apparently enlisted in the Army.

- Rich Tosches, 636-0226, Rich Tosches