saint west fake news
In the absence of any real news about Kim Kardashian's new baby Saint West, the entertainment media and tabloids have come up with fake stories that indicate either a deep apathy or a plunge in creative inspiration.
The stories circulating come in two categories: North West is jealous, and Saint is a Happy Baby.
In both categories, there is nothing out of the ordinary to raise any red flags.
Toddlers are usually jealous of new baby siblings, and new babies are generally deemed 'happy' since no one really wants to say publicly that all their colicky baby does is scream endlessly for no reason.
Last week, Radar Online reported that A Source told them this:
North already seems incredibly jealous of him because she is so used to being her mother’s only one.
Whoa, there's a news flash for you. Not only that but Life&Style quoted Radar quoting The Source as divulging:
Parents Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are in love with their miracle baby but Nori does not seem happy with the new addition.
Now let's look at the Happy Baby news, starting with E Online's exclusive report. I hope you're sitting down for this one.
'Saint is a really happy baby,' a source exclusively shared with E! News. "North and Kourtney's kids love seeing Saint. Kourtney and Koko are helping Kim and giving baby Saint major love.'
Awwww. Good to know. But this exclusive source has so much more to reveal. All is not perfectly perfect, In fact, for the new parents.
It's been some sleepless nights for the two of them still.
I'm not sure I like the Source's grammar here with 'It's been' but I guess the imaginary source is kind of Urban, so never mind. The Source continues,
Kim and Kanye are tired, but are enjoying every moment they can with Saint. Kanye loves that there is a baby boy in the family now. Kanye is already thinking of melodies for baby Saint.
The Source seems to have switched back to conventional English and then digs deeper for more tidbits.
The amount of presents Saint has received so far is out of this world. Saint will be a very stylish baby with all the clothes options he has so far.
Oooh, the stylish baby aspect is useful for lazy journalists everywhere, including Perez Hilton, who re-quoted the imaginary Source and predicted 'designer duds' like Balmain.
Now, I have already warned Popdust readers to look for phrases like 'a source tells us' or 'a source close to the family says.' The savvy reader will translate these clauses to mean, 'I'm making this up, but it will be harmless drivel.'
Personally, I would like the fake Sources to work a little harder, since they reside in the brains of journalists who get paid to channel them. For example, my own exclusive source says that baby Saint is treated to the finest cloth diapers, since Kim and Kanye are worried about PVC in the plastic of Pampers.
See how fun it is to have details? Want more? Try this:
A source tells us that Kim's nipples are sore from Saint's lusty sucking but she is determined to breastfeed for at least two months. She knows it's the best way to lose her baby weight. Sometimes she even wakes the infant to nurse him, scrolling through her stuff on eBay with her free hand.
What a vivid and believable image, while not pejorative enough to trigger a lawsuit!
Let me know if you'd like my Source to elaborate. You'll have complete assurance of insights no one else can offer!