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Why Going to Your High School Football Thanksgiving Game is a Scam

You can go home for the holidays, but you can't go back.

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Those years when you manage to get off work or class early enough to make it home the day before Thanksgiving, you may find yourself thinking, "Hey! Wouldn't it be fun if the whole crew went to the Thanksgiving football game?" And before you pick up the phone and text your whole high school gang, let me tell you: it will not. Take your nostalgia for the good old days (gag) and bury it in your parents' backyard before you make a grave mistake.

You will feel out of place.

You may expect to come back and see how the current marching band/cheerleaders/football team is faring nowadays, but when you get there and see almost if not entirely unfamiliar faces, you'll remember that you aged out of this place. You may be wearing your high school sweatshirt or varsity jacket, but your time here is long over. Current high schoolers could not give fewer shits about what some random alumni are up to now or how you used to do things. They don't know you, they don't need you.

You might bump into people.

If you do see anyone you know, chances are, it'll be someone you purposely did not keep in touch with, and unless they're making the same one-time mistake you are of going to the high school game, they're probably the kind of person who still lurks around the high school and the hometown because it's where they peaked. You know very well by now which of your high school friends are going to be your grown-up friends, and you're probably already in touch. Anyone you might be reunited with in the bleachers is likely going to be the kind of person you were glad to never see again after graduation day.

It'll just be really boring.

Unless you, your friends, or maaaaybe your kid are playing, something you may not have realized as a teen is that watching high school sports is...not really very fun. If you actually enjoyed watching your school's football games when you were in school, it was probably because high school was your whole world. But nowadays, you'll probably find that you really, really couldn't care less about that old rivalry (who's actually keeping that going, anyway?) If you're a sports person, watching pro sports is way more fun. If you're not a sports person, literally anything would be way more fun.

"But now we can drink!"

Okay, if this is a thought you actually had, I'll let it slide because you're probably a college freshman enjoying your newfound freedom and ways of accessing alcohol that you didn't have last year. But sneaking a flask into a stadium with a bunch of teenagers is...kind of creepy? Just drink somewhere else, if you must.

If you want to spend some time getting nostalgic and/or drunk with high school friends when you're in town for Thanksgiving this year, just crowd into someone's parents' basement and pore over a copy of your yearbook. You can do all the gossiping (and remembering why you got out of this place) you need to indoors, warm, and away from the youths. Trust me.

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