Down the Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny, details in depth her time as Hugh Hefner’s “No.1 girlfriend” and, she’s not holding back on the gory details.
According to Madison, the first time she met the legendary playboy, he offered her some “thigh openers”…. that’s drugs—specifically Quaaludes—for those not in the know.
How very retro of him!
“‘Would you like a Quaalude?’ Hef asked, leaning toward me with a bunch of large horse pills in his hands, held together by a crumpled tissue,” she writes, going on to reveal that when she declined, the now 89-year-old, “did not miss a beat: ‘Okay, that’s good,’ he said, nonchalantly. ‘Usually, I don’t approve of drugs, but you know, in the ‘70s they used to call these pills thigh openers.’ I want to scream ‘PAUSE!’ and freeze-frame that moment of my life. I want to grab that young girl, shake her back into reality and scream, ‘What the hell are you thinking?’”
And, things did not get any better from then on in.
Madison writes that she was led into a bathroom by Hef’s then No.1 girlfriend of the day, Tina Jordan, to be greeted by a bunch of chicks, all clad in pink flannel pajamas, soaking their feet in a black marble bathtub.
After donning the obligatory PJs herself, Madison dipped her feet in the bathtub and waited in line for her turn with the lusty Lothario—something, she says, all the girls dreaded.
In fact, Madison says the girls absolutely HATED the whole Hefner bedroom schtick, that they all "tried to get it over with as quickly as possible" and advised her to “fake” everything.
Thankfully however—for those poor girls at least—Hef doesn’t subscribe to the Sting and Trudie Styler tantric sex mode, as, Madison shares, "My turn was over just as quickly as it had started" and included zero intimacy and absolutely no kissing.
Jeeze, pass me those mother fucking Quaaludes dude.
So, perhaps what Hef lacks in prowess he makes up for in personality?
Nope, not so, at least according to Madison, who paints the octogenarian as a major manipulator and control freak, who was both verbally and emotionally abusive to her.
Madison claims Hefner would berate her over things as minor as her choice of lipstick color, or her hair cut, and that he loved stirring up a whole load of bitchy drama between his “girls.”
“I learned Hef was the manipulator and that he pitted us against one another,” she writes. “I realized I wasn’t treated well.”
Despite the shitty treatment, Madison stuck it out at the Mansion for eight long years, before finally throwing in her bunny ears and getting the hell out of dodge—but, not before Hef attempted to reel her back in with the one thing he does have in abundance—cold, hard cash.
Madison claims Hefner wrote her into his will—to the tune of three million—but, obviously, there was a catch.
“It was there, in black and white,” she writes. “The will stated that $3,000,000 would be bestowed to Holly Madison at the time of his death (provided I still lived in the Mansion). At the time, it was more money than I’d ever know what to do with… But I didn’t want it. I actually pitied him for stooping to that level. I couldn’t help but be offended. Did he really think he could buy me? I put the folder back on the bed just as I had found it and never breathed a word of it.”
Amazingly, Madison was never forced to sign a non-disclosure, so she’s free to dish the dirt and bash Hef as much as her heart desires—so, why is the mom-of-one deciding to do so now?
Well, aside from the obvious cash incentive, Madison says she is doing it, in part, for her 2-year-old daughter, Rainbow.
“I want her to understand why I made the choices I made,” Madison tells US Weekly. “And hopefully learn from them and not make stupid mistakes herself.”
Down the Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny goes on sale June 23.