"Human Barbie" Valeria Lukyanova is more than just a racist space alien - she's also a time-traveling guru who communicates with life on other planets.
No, seriously! Stop laughing, this is important stuff. Valeria is here to save us all from ourselves by encouraging spirituality and... space travel? I give up.
"My out-of-body experiences began when I was a little girl: I could travel outside of my body to other planets and universes. Back then it happened spontaneously and now I can control my trips and travel only when I feel like it. For the last four years, I have been teaching seminars on meditation and out-of-body travel."
Hmmm. Also, her looks are totally natural and not at all the result of any kind of surgery, ok?
"Most of my old pictures that you find on the Internet are Photoshopped. Don’t believe any stories about me having rib-removing surgeries—they aren’t true. The only surgery I had was the breast surgery. My mother’s waist is as narrow as mine—I inherited that from her."
Diet and exercise, that's all it takes, kids.
"I do a serious workout in the gym three times a week and I run a lot. It is important not to eat for two hours after your work out—just drink liquids. I prefer liquid foods. But don’t drink water with your food if you want to have a slim body. The biggest secret is the amounts of food I have—they are very small."
And the best part - when asked if her husband Dmitri is an alien:
"I prefer not to talk about that, as I do not want to damage his reputation."
Poor Dmitri! Read more about our favorite space cadet here.