Fine, she's better looking than a circus sideshow lady. But still.
Just when she's succeeded at shucking the nickname Poor Jennifer Aniston, she is thrust back into public humiliation.
Why subject her to this, People Magazine? She is so far from being the World's Most Beautiful Woman as to make the title meaningless, if not facetious.
Do they mean beautiful 'inside' like the way lonely women describe themselves on dating sites after admitting they are 'zaftig?'
I think People may be bluffing, actually. They're just fucking with us. Come on, they're saying, This is not the World's Most Beautiful Woman but what are you gonna do about it?
From the way People raves about her, once can deduce that Jen merits the accolade primarily for managing to look attractive at age 47. She takes care of herself and looks healthy and her hair still benefits from the world's most expensive hi-lights. Bravo, they are saying, for not letting yourself go!
Reese Witherspoon, 40, and Sofia Vergara, 43, came in second and third place, so perhaps the whole thing is People's way of pandering to older readers. But older women still have eyes even if they need reading glasses. And I'm sorry Jennifer Aniston, but no. You are not the World's Most Beautiful Woman, you are the most overrated girl-next-door type and that would be a more fitting contest for you. Then you could lord it over Tina Fey or Kate Mara or somebody.
In 26 years of naming the World's Most Beautiful Woman, People has chosen only three women of color: Halle Berry, Beyonce, and Lupita Nyongo. I guess three is better than zero and at least they chose true beauties instead of honorary beauties.
Just for fun (and comparison) let's look at two other actresses who weren't named People's Most Beautiful Woman this year.
Olivia Munn and Lea Sedoux are so beautiful I might leave my husband for them.
Now, back to Jen.
I'm sorry but I just see Most Effort To Make Do With Nature's Modest Endowments Plus Nosejob.
Is it so wrong to tell the truth, People Magazine? Or does it just sell more magazines to make a controversial choice?
Weigh in, Popdust beauty experts.