It's almost a lost art in today's MTV, but the absolutely ludicrous storyline music video is as rich a tradition as any in the medium. Kudos to J. Lo then, for throwing credulity to the wind in her recent video for "Papi," the expanded version of that Fiat commercial you may have seen repeatedly over the course of yesterday's NFL Sunday. The video is everything her recent commercials for Kohl's weren't; dumb, cheesy and hopelessly over-the-top, without any attempts at subtlety or humility. That may sound like a bad thing, but it only sort of is, because there's definitely fun to be had in the absurdity—it's like a Lady Gaga video that you don't even have to pretend to take seriously.
The video starts with Lopez greeting her mail lady while looking longingly at pics of her and her beloved on her BLACKBERRY. Not back yet, asks mail lady? No such luck, says Lopez. Well, no worries—mail lady offers her a cookie, saying eating it will bring her love back. (And she's got a thick accent of some sort, so you know she's for real.) "Just one small bite," she warns Lopez. Pfft, thinks J. Lo. This woman clearly does not understand the kind of tolerance I've worked up over the years for magical love cookies. She takes a sizable bite instead, and mail lady curses at her in some foreign language for her insolence. (Uh-oh!)
Now it's the next morning, and Lopez walks out of her apartment as if this is just any other day, where she can stroll the streets without men jumping out of buildings and crashing their cars to get at her. Think again, Jennifer! Turns out that magic cookie she overbit has powers not just to bring her love back, but to turn every man within a two-mile radius into a love zombie, desperate to woo J. Lo and possibly to eat her brains as well. They force Lopez out of her FIAT automobile, and appear to be ready to consummate whatever plans they had with her, when all of a sudden, Lopez realizes she can control the unruly mob with her movements. You know what that means: Dance number!
Eventually, her spell is broken or something, and she is taken in hand by the love-zombie mob. But, as luck would have it, at that exact moment, J. Lo's beau, wearing a distinguished military getup, arrives via bus. "PAAAPIIII!!!!" (actually) screams Lopez. He comes to rescue her, the mob loses interest, and everything is right in the universe. See? Magic cookie woman with the thick accent never lies.
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6XbIuSLaCnk&feature=player_embedded#! expand=1]