While December 24 makes many anxious with thoughts of last-minute shopping trips and late-night clattering about the house, Justin Bieber thinks of it as the perfect date night, rattling off a series of romantic, wintry activities on his newest holiday track "Christmas Eve." Chris Brown, who wrote a similarly sensual, Chris Brown-sounding track for Joe Jonas and his solo debut, is responsible for Bieber's latest Under the Mistletoe offering, giving his frequent collaborator enough lady bait to secure a female friend for all 12 days of Christmas—not that he needs one. Bieber pushes his voice to its breaking point, and with each additional line our heads slowly starts to explode as we try to make sense of all the potentially holiday-related euphemisms within ("I'm the one who wants to take you on a sleigh ride," "And leave some cookies out, Imma eat em up"). Is Bieber supposed to be Santa Claus in this scenario? Apologies if you thought you were enjoying harmless holiday fare up until now, but we're just interpreting this the way The Bieb wants us to. "excited because people r going crazy for the music. @radiobigboy loves #CHRISTMASEVE that i made with @chrisbrown - real #sexy," he wrote on Thursday. His words.

It's a more mature sound from the 17-year-old, who has stayed true to classic Christmas carols and familiar ukulele fare thus far. We'll need more than one kind of sound to get us through the holidays this year—it's not even Halloween yet—so naturally we welcome this new Bieber with open albeit slightly stunned arms. Listen below.