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Justin Bieber Is Just Going To Auction His Snake To The Highest Bidder

Justin Bieber is apparently serious about his charity drive. How serious? Serious enough to forever put an end to snake jokes. (Get them out of the way now, or--fine, just keep them in mind throughout the post, you're probably going to anyway.)

Yes, no longer will Bieber be able to ask the question "do you wanna hold my Johnson?" (Which happened, in case you forgot.) You kind of wonder whether he's auctioning off the snake after everyone in his camp got sick of hearing the joke every time both Bieber and boa were in the room. But either way, it's for a good cause--and by that, we mean Pencils of Promise, not old jokes dismissed with "boys will be boys" silliness.

That said, at the time of posting, "Trisha & Ashley" had already gone in for $1,361.11, so there's a substantial monetary commitment involved. Which is fine; boa constrictors require substantial time commitments (more than a decade; another reason why he might be auctioning it.) But we'd be remiss not to keep you informed on any Justin Bieber snake auction activity, so here you go. Bid wisely. And please ask your parents first.