Lady Gaga is prepping us for her eventual return to ubiquity with a series of out-there videos directed by her pal, Terry Richardson. The first revealed that she's spent time practicing, Drake-style, the various ways to pop that, shake it like a salt shaker and make the ground move—that's an assquake—in slow motion, all for the benefit of her Little Monsters.

"Cake" continues to be portrayed literally, with Gaga dearest rolling around on a table splattered with what appears to have once been perfectly good dessert. Aside from the fact that she's wearing heels, such movements would get any New York City establishment—we're looking at you, Joannne Trattoria—a "D" rating. But don't get too excited; she has a history of covering herself in food. We're not saying that this display should kill your cravings for homemade apple pie this weekend, but maybe abstain if it came from your mom's oven. Holidays are awkward enough.

Just know that Mother Monster sees your underboob tattoo, RiRi, and raises you a topless hot tub session.