Lance Bass has a boy band, by the way. Not just TV dreams of one. Lance isn't in it--he's just their mentor. The band's called Heart2Heart and on paper is a hybrid of K-pop groups and the American model of N*SYNKOTBSBETC. Off paper, and online, their band makes the only kind of song that can go with the title "Facebook Official."

We'd love to say this will date poorly, but Facebook's company trajectory seems just as likely to end in implanted chips and T-1000 invasions than bankruptcy. So instead, we'll point out lyrics like "I want to do this in the realest way I know" (2011, folks) or "agree to my Terms of Service" (so, basically, enter a relationship without really knowing anything about what the terms are, and then have your privacy invaded about once a week?) The music alone, no words, isn't too far from the boy band template, but only five people are going to care, two of whom work for us.

The only upside? This may well be a 2Gether-style parody. The Prophet Blog points out front-kid David Lehre/Chad Future's history of boy-band mockery, and the guy's got a website full of the stuff. If so, job well done, and we await your next exegesis of soon-to-be-old digital slang. Has anyone done a planking song yet?