Lindsay Lohan truly is a gift that keeps on giving...and giving...and giving.
Former child star Lindsay, 29, posted a sexy photo on Instagram over the weekend. Nothing new there we hear you say, but the incomprehensible caption she posted with it was truly, truly bizarre. In what can at best be described as an impassioned monologue and at worst an unhinged, rambling diatribe, she name checked Michael Jackson, PETA, Oprah and Allah (I never thought I'd type those four names in the same sentence).
Here is the text in it's full, unedited glory (better said out loud for the best effect);
"they always come back. I love you NYC ��they always come back. I love you NYC ��#godblesstheworld #michaeljackson #rip miss you as my real only private friend. For you: god, for all hurts and wrongs, please let me forgive, Allah please let me be forgiven, and all forgive themselves. Please and thank you. (Someone I was with the night before several towers fell, it felt like not a curse, but more like a spell.. What we think in America is not always clear, we don't have@peta commercials / you just kill deer....with this being said, I'm a girl with a reputation mislead... Like a diamond in the rough, you, now, for 25 years have seen me on TV and screen.. So i am programmed ��to stand tough. Black or white - in life, rather than love we create a fight of an ideal situation of an unexceptional, yet unacceptable future that @TMZ @Eonline @HarveylevinTMZ &#harveyweinstein ..couldn't and wouldn't even care to describe any thought of the people we forget to help when a franchise film comes out and, If money means more than freedom- than stay in California. If helping others is a passion, talk to angelina jolie... If you want to be a brilliant actress, work wth Meryl Streep ...at the end of the day- republican or democrats --- BE HERE NOW @oprahand live with integrity. Or go to sleep. The most beautiful life comes cheap. Stop fighting and using artists for distractions. It's boring... �� #UnitedNations"
There you have it. Is it poetry? Is it an essay? Who knows what the fuck it means—does Lindsay even know?
The rant caused many of her 3.9 million followers to question her well-being. The comments section was filled with queries from concerned fans, and one user summed it up; “So I think it's safe to say Lindsay Lohan is on drugs.”
Another fan thought they could get into the mind of Ms Lohan and translated the meaning for us; “Basically Lindsay is telling everybody that Hollywood is fake. And they use high powered stars to distract everybody from the fucked up world we live in.”
Yeah ok. Keep drinking the Kool-Aid honey.
As if that wasn't enough, LiLo posted a picture a few days later which showed she is still on the Photoshop diet as well as being deluded.
The photo has sooooo clearly been digitally altered it's not like she even tried to do it subtly! The caption read;
“I love my waist just the way it is. Love yourself and be kind and you shall succeed no matter what. Be strong inside (in everyday/man or woman lol).”
Inspiring you might think. And so it would be if it weren't for the fact she is wearing a waist trainer in the photo! Hey Lindsay—if you “love your waist just the way it is” why the fuck do you need to wear a waist trainer?
And Lindsay—if you “love your waist just the way it is” and “love yourself” why the fuck do you need to Photoshop your pictures so you look thinner?
Oh well, who are we to question the motives or thoughts (are any of them coherent?) of La Lohan? It's just too exhausting and she's clearly, how shall we put it, self medicating again, and in true Lindsay style, doing it very publicly.