Ben Affleck. In response to Ben being voted People's Sexiest Man Alive, Michael Clarke Duncan, his co-star in Armageddon, quipped, "Don't get me wrong, ladies, Ben is cool, but I've seen the guy naked ... and c'mon, man! I was not impressed at all." That hurts. Or not, as the case may be.
Shia LaBeouf. The 28-year-old told Playboy the first time he slept with a girl, he put a pillow underneath her to maximize penetration. "I'm not extremely well-endowed, and clearly this wasn't the move," LaBeouf recalls. No wonder he’s always so damn angry.
Enrique Iglesias. The hunky 39-year-old loves nothing more than to wax lyrical about his teeny peen—google it if you don’t believe us. He once bemoaned the fact he can never find “extra-small condoms” and claimed, “my worst defect is from the waist down”…
Colin Farrell. Say it isn’t so!!! On the subject of his manhood, the 38-year-old Irish Lothario once said, "Let me tell you, it ain't nothing to fucking write home about!"
Jude Law. For someone with such a tiny todger, he sure gets a LOT of action. The actor racked up some sizable column inches—albeit not the type he would likely want—back in 2005 after he was snapped in the nude stepping into a pair of swim trunks. Page Six quipped that the pics brought to mind “George Costanza's infamous `shrinkage' episode on Seinfeld” while an unnamed size Queen publicist sniped, "He's no Tommy Lee, that's for sure."
Nick Lachey. In a uncharacteristically bawdy moment…(sarcasm folks…sarcasm), Jessica Simpson disclosed that her ex-husband "didn't pack too well, if you know what I mean."
Johnny Knoxville. The Jackass has compared his less-than-impressive schlong to a light switch and "an egg in a nest"
Nick Cannon. Once again, a disgruntled ex is the one stirring up the teeny peen rumor mill. The 33-year-old’s ex-fiancee, Selita Ebanks slammed the singer’s schlong in a 2011 interview…proving less is more (when it comes to words at least) the model responded with a simple “Eh” when asked about the soon-to-be ex-Mr. Mariah Carey’s package.
Howard Stern. The always self-depricating King of all Media has confessed to having a borderline micro-penis; claiming it is actually the size of a large clitoris.
Ashton Kutcher. When Kutcher first started dating Demi Moore back in the day, his (obviously not bitter) ex, Brittany Murphy, sniped, "To him, age doesn't matter, and to her, size doesn't matter."
Danny Bonaduce. Sorry to shatter your dreams hetero ladies, and gentlemen of a certain persuasion, but…the troubled child star sports a dick the size of a child star. But he sure loves taking off his pants and waving it around.
Fred Durst. The Limp Bizkit’s horrific home sex tape proved Durst is neither a shower or a grower…and he was NOT happy about it! The 44-year-old sued Gawker Media after they posted the leaked video.
Eminem. Ex-wife Kim bitched that Em had a small wang and that he sucked in bed!
Dustin Diamond. Old Screech is rumored to be so poorly endowed that he used a cock double for his revolting sex tape…Ewwwww…just….ewwwww….
Daniel Radcliffe. Bless his little Harry Potter penis! The 25-year-old self confessed “hamster dick” blamed it all on stage nerves, claiming he was so terrified his appendage shrank to rodent size during his stint in the West End play Equis. Yeah, Danny boy…nerves….sure….
Daniel Craig. The junk jury is out on 007. After the Brit confessed to using stunt penises (yep, that’s actually a real thing) for the nude scenes in Casino Royale, speculation was rife that he didn’t measure up in the trouser department. However, his saucy co-star, Dame Judi Dench, defended Craig’s cock, insisting she copped a look and that "It's an absolute monster! Maybe I shouldn't have said that. How uncouth of me!"
Mick Jagger. For once, a disgruntled ex wasn’t the cock shaming catalyst..In Jagger’s case it was his size Queen bandmate, Keith Richards. "Marianne Faithfull had no fun with his tiny todger. I know he's got an enormous pair of balls—but it doesn't quite fill the gap,” he wrote in his memoir. (Cue, can’t get no satisfaction jokes) The damage control machine was quick to jump into action, with ex-wife Jerri Hall insisting, "Mick is very well endowed. I should know—I was with him for 23 years. Keith is just jealous."
Jon Gosselin. The Jon and Kate Plus 8 star was inducted into the teeny peen team back in 2009, after his ex-girlfriend Hailey Glassman dished on his dick. “He was so small, I didn’t think he would cheat on me. He’s hung like a nine-year-old boy. I’m serious. This is true,” she said..and if that’s not clear enough, she went on to elaborate, “he’s tiny, tiny, tiny.”
Tom Arnold. Always the kind and discreet soul that she is, Arnold’s ex-wife, Roseanne Barr went on a Tom todger takedown after their very messy, very acrimonious divorce in 1994—claiming on Saturday Night Live that the 55-year-old has a “three-inch penis.” Arnold shot straight back though, "What's small?" he asked. "Hell, even a 747 looks small if it lands in the Grand Canyon."
Arnold Schwarzenegger. If we didn’t know better we would say he suffers from steroid shrinkage—but, of course not, not the clean living Governator! Arnie discussed his package back in 1997, bemoaning to French magazine, Oui, "You can't make it bigger through exercise, that's for sure."
Napoleon. Last and most definitely least, is a non-Hollywood star (DUH!) It’s kind of a cheat, but in this pic he looks sort of like Marlon Brando… Unfortunately for the French military and political leader, his penis lives on to tell the tale, well after its owner’s demise. The peen was chopped off by a disgruntled doctor during autopsy and has since travelled the world. “Napoleon’s item” currently resides, in a jar in New Jersey, and its urologist owner confirms it is indeed a “very small” penis”..measuring just one-and-a-half inches.