Ever wondered what goes on inside the head of a mega-star?
October 29, 2014
Great news for a change: Some hack biographer says I had an affair with JFK Jr. and everyone believes it! If only I could've got my hands on a Kennedy, any Kennedy! We did hang out a few times and I got to meet Jackie. She was actually very nice. We were just two fag hags complaining about fame. John Jr. pouted the whole time. Believe me, I would have fucked his brains out if I had the chance.
Meanwhile, Diplo keeps ignoring my texts and I'm ready to fucking strangle him. He's fooling around with Katy Perry, who's probably just trying to sabotage my album. Why do these girls keep thinking they can compete with me? Boob-wise, she comes close to my level but musically, nothing. Plus she has no muscle tone.
Speaking of muscles, I did the splits for an Instagram photo and couldn't get out of bed for two days. Timmy had to take care of the kids, which was great. I'm so sick of their boring stories about school and homework. He's closer to their age, anyway.