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Meet The Christian Swingers Who Claim God Uses Them To Spread His Word

Meet The Christian Swingers Who Claim God Uses Them To Spread His Word

Meet the Christian couple adding a whole new meaning to the term “missionary position.”

Christy and Dean Parave, from Florida (of course!), are using a highly unconventional method to spread the good Lord’s word—along with their bodily fluids, presumably.

The two bodybuilders are devout swingers, in addition to devout Christians, and believe they can use their myriad of ever changing sexual playmates as an opportunity to share the Gospel—to fuck the flock, if you will.

Christy and Dean met online eight years ago, going on to marry in July 2007, and, although they both shared a love of God, and of working out, they initially didn’t share a love of sharing their love with others.

The Evangelical opportunists began their foray into the swinging world after they were approached by a sex seeking duo in a DIY store. And, Christy admits to having been gloriously naive when it came to the subject of wife swapping, back in the B.S. (Before Swinging) days.

“A couple came up to us and asked if we swung,” Christy says. “And I used to dance all the time, so I thought they were talking about East coast, West coast swing…I had no clue what swinging was.”

Thankfully though—for the baby Jesus at least—it seems Christy is a quick learner, and in no time at all, she was imparting the fruits of her new found knowledge on lucky hubby Dean!

“I came home from work one day and she happened to have a female friend there,” Dean shares, “And I get in the shower, you know, start showering after work, then next thing I know, they’re both in the shower with me….you know, I didn’t know what was going on.”

Praise the Lord, it's a miracle!

The couple admits that swinging and devout Christianity aren’t usually viewed as being the most natural of bedmates—however, they both believe that their seemingly contradictory lifestyle choice and religious fervor are, in fact, a match made in Heaven.

“If I was a priest going to a swingers club, would you listen to me?” Dean asks. “You’ve got a better chance of listening to me  spreading the word of God, being another swinger… it’s still a sin, it’s just, how are you using it?”

“I feel like, right now, this is God’s plan,” Christy explains.

“Swinging to me started as a lifestyle,” Dean continues. “And then it was like, you know what? We can do a lot of good with this. Instead of just, like, you know, let’s just have fun with this….I’m getting to people who will never even visit a church.”

“What I think about, being a devout person, is God’s not going to put a lion with a bunch of elephants,” Dean continues, seemingly unaware of the good Lord’s work in areas such as the great continent of Africa.

“So what’s he going to do? He’s going to put a swinger with a bunch of swingers….to spread his word. Simple as that.”

Indeed! Makes total sense to me!

Now, when it comes to spreading the word, Dean doesn’t just talk the talk, he really does walk the walk too. And, thanks to the good folks at Barcroft TV, we are afforded a glimpse into the promiscuous preacher hard at work—discussing his faith with some fresh new meat his latest swinging partners.

“People are like, ‘well, you’re supposed to be a Christian, but you’re a swinger,” he explains to Johnny and Amanda, who look absolutely thrilled at the opportunity to discuss theology rather than just fuck a couple of complete strangers and get the hell out of Dodge.

“If all the swingers are sinners, what’s the best way to talk to the sinners? To join them, right?” Dean concludes.

And amazingly, it seems Dean really does manage to provide some great God-fueled food for thought, as Johnny ponders, “You realize that in the bible, there are so many gray areas. It says, ‘thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife,’ but, what if your neighbor wants you to?”

Good point Johnny! I mean, obviously, it’s the only really Christian thing to do in the circumstances!

Meanwhile, Christy explains why she believes the big guy upstairs is (probably) totally down with her getting down (and dirty).

“The bible doesn’t talk about swinging, specifically,” she says. “I just feel like, as a married couple, you agree on something together, then it’s OK. If it’s not, then, judgement day I will find that out.”

NOTE TO CHRISTY:

It’s likely that the bible doesn’t “talk about swinging specifically” because, although the practice is ages old, the term “swinging” wasn’t actually coined until sometime in the 1950s, according to Terry Gould’s The Lifestyle: a look at the erotic rites of swingers.

Meanwhile, not surprisingly—given that it’s THE BIBLE—the bible DOES have plenty to say on the subject of fucking a bunch of random peeps...such as:

Galatians 5:19-21: Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

And, the infamous gay bashing God squad favorite, Corinthians 6:9-10: Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

However, it turns out that none of that actually matters though at the end of the day—because, Dean claims to have, as do so many other religious people, a direct line to the good Lord—and, it transpires, the GL has no issue with the whole swinging thang.

“So far today, God hasn’t said, ‘Hey Dean, stop this, it’s a sin, I don’t want you to do this,’” he explains. “Until he does that, I’m going to keep on trying to help as many people as I can.”

Amen to that my brother!

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