Nicki Minaj's "Roman Reloaded" Reviewed: "Pound The Alarm"

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Track 11: "Pound the Alarm"

Sounds Like: The continuation of the stretch of Roman Reloaded that was begun with "Starships"' launch; specifically, RedOne holding a knitting party in an aerobics club, weaving beats with seize-the-night lyrics and with more beats. Dancing and boozing are provided for all comers.

Pros: Alarm metaphors have a lot to live up to in pop/R&B, but the dance breakdown that begins at "pound the alarm" is frenetic enough to get alarm bells ringing while it lasts. If you're going to get one part of your track right, might as well be the chorus.

Cons: The parts that don't sound like Beyonce--which are most of the parts--sound like something else. Specifically: "I throw my hands up in the air sometimes, saying eh-oh / baby let's go." You cannot unhear this, and if you're like us, you're wondering what choices pop producers and consumers made to make Taio Cruz be a trendsetter. The Black Eyed Peas rips like "shut it doooowwwwwwn" and the wrestling-announcer "music. gets me. high bit (neither of which they probably originated, but still) are easier to understand, but they're still not exactly welcome. It's not that we want Nicki Minaj to release twenty fast-spitting Roman Zolanski rants; it's that this sounds like a J. Lo castoff from two years ago.

Roman Rating: 1/10, and that point exists entirely because Nicki says "some call me Roman."

WTF Moment?: Nope. Not a single one. If people are listening to Roman Reloaded the entire way through, they might go WTF at how all its rap features are frontloaded and how it now seems like an entirely different album, but that WTF moment probably would've happened already on "Starships."

Previous Reviews: "Roman Holiday," "Come On A Cone," "I Am Your Leader," "Beez in the Trap," "HOV Lane," "Roman Reloaded," "Champion," "Right By My Side," "Sex in the Lounge," "Starships"

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