Today in unexpected feuds: Wolfgang Van Halen questions the manners (and hairstyles) of One Direction. The band's current bassist, and the son of its co-founding guitarist Eddie Van Halen, fired off a string of tweets yesterday that described his chance encounter with the group in a hotel lobby in Birmingham, England. While the boys are by no means an official British welcoming committee, it wasn't the interaction he was expecting:

As a fellow performer, has Wolfgang considered the possibility that the group was just preoccupied—Niall celebrating his seven million Twitter followers, Liam admiring the pretty scenery—in addition to plugging through a series of radio interviews? Van Halen hasn't revealed the specifics as to how the guys managed to be so disrespectful, but we'd put our money on Harry mistaking him for a bellhop, Zayn refusing him a photo opportunity or Niall flubbing the lyrics to "Jump." Don't be angry though, Wolf; they're just doing what their songs tell them to do.

The 21-year-old, who is just a few months older than 1D's Louis Tomlinson, resorted to name-calling ("dickheads," "shitty boy band") in his retelling of the ordeal, which proves he took the cold shoulder he was allegedly given by the group to heart, or has a very limited vocabulary. Didn't your mother teach you to use your words? And the decision to retaliate by ragging on the guys' signature coiffures is reason enough for the Directioner army worldwide to start snatching up tickets for the next flight to the U.K.

While four out of five guys likely use a good amount of product to transform their shaggy mops into the perfect brand of disheveled, Liam has a buzz cut now! That has to count for something. All's been quiet on the various 1D accounts today, with the exception of Louis, who appears to have suffered an unspecified injury:

If you hurt one hair on his precious heads, Wolfie...