Jared Leto- so handsome, such a great singer, such a talented actor, so humble, and SUCH a gentleman!
I had the dubious pleasure of spending an afternoon at Leto’s Hollywood Hills home a while back—he even put the moves on me—and Popdust has the sorry, sorry tale.
It was a barbecue/pool party, populated with mostly young teenage girls, and rather strangely, young teenage boys.
Sure there was the occasional twenty something sprinkled in, but other than that it just as easily could have been a McKinley high school kegger.
Jared held court, of course, entertaining his guests in a tour de force of celebrity narcissism.
As he manned the vegan hot dogs, he launched into a Tom Cruise impression, morphing his features into an uncanny clone.
"You complete me."
"Oh! Jared," the orgasmic—high pitched— shrieks poured fourth. "You're so AMAZING!"
Next he moved on to his impression of a horny red neck, plucking one of the few twenty somethings from the crowd, tossing her over his knee and grabbing handfuls of her boobs and butt while she squealed and giggled.
"Girly, you best milk them cows if you want supper," he said (no word of a lie), mock chewing on tobaccy.
Then a strange trance fell over his disciples, and they crumpled to their knees in rapid succession and bowed toward their messiah.
Okay, that last bit didn't really happen.
But this did.
Hankering for a vegan dog, I approached Jared as he handled his wieners.
As I started my request, he interjected, "You got that whole MILF thing going on." (I was 26)
"How'd ya like to screaming eagle my friend and me? He's 17. You see him? He's in the pool."
"Yeah. We stand on either side of you while you blow us both. Like this."
Then he acted it out- holding his fists at either side of his face and rotating his head, mouth agape, and made a screaming sound.
I called my friend to pick me up.
Gee, I sure hope he wins that Oscar.