Enough Justin Bieber fans were psyched enough that his North American tour sold out in less than an hour! One ticket per fan! Massive demand! Scooter Braun tweeting about things being epic!

Of course, this isn't how it works. This is never how it works, especially considering the short time frame and what buying tickets is like anymore. For instance: StubHub's tickets start at $124 for the upper perimeter. This is not the behavior of a true belieber; it's the work of scalpers, who've swooped in (as they were always going to) to make life hell for parents trying to buy their kids Justin Bieber tickets. If you're reading this, there's a chance you're either one or them or one of their children.

So kids, if you're reading this, here's a list of words that you might not want to bring up around your parents: Ticketmaster, StubHub, Craigslist, PayPal, refresh, reload, loading, unavailable. And if you see them slumped over the PC or laptop, best leave them alone. And then come back in an hour and thank them. When you're a parent yourself, and Jessica Simpson's grandkid is selling out arenas, you'll understand.

Oh, and a refresher: the first tour date is September 29, in Arizona. So you've got about 4 months to scrounge for tickets. We wish you the best luck and the fewest scammers.