The Philadelphia Eagles' Monday night loss game against the Chicago Bears likely left fans a little blue, but before kickoff the mood was completely festive in the tailgating lots of Lincoln Financial Field, thanks to one Brent Celek superfan who moonlights as a rapper. The anonymous MC, apparently a former prison guard who honed his style by interacting with various inmates, is not shy about performing for strangers, and gets some help from his hype man in the Donté Stallworth jersey. The Coors Light utility belt alone should signal that most of his rhymes are going to revolve around drinking ("Pass, pass the bottle") and taking parking lot parties to other levels of the galaxy, but he also has some thoughts on domestic life and assumed gender roles ("Bitch I ain't buying your baby no diaper!"). In case the disparity between his appearance and flow leaves you with lingering questions about what kind of man he is, he's happy to provide you with an answer: "I went to a party high on Bacardi / When I went to work, I was tardy." What we didn't see was him drop his invisible mic, crush the can to his head straight for his luxury box. That's what Kanye would do, anyway.