Ah, Halloween. The great American tradition of letting your freak flag fly. Or, if you're a female between the ages of 14-40, a free pass to basically be naked.
On October 31, 2014 prepare to witness a parade of pop culture abominations to make you laugh, cry, and hurl.
In case you are still undecided on the perfect Halloween costume, Popdust has a collection of ideas inspired by the past ten months' hottest music, TV, and pop culture characters.
Check out the gallery below and let us know whether you’re planning to be naughty or nice this year.
Rust Cohle: Sturdy work shirt: $29.97, Lone Star beer: $12.99 for a six-pack, Jesus wig-and-beard set, $29.25—The confused look on people’s faces when you say you’re Matthew McConaughey, in a shirt—Priceless
Shia LaBeouf: Being famous is soooo annoying. All that money and people kissing your ass. Got a paper bag and a sharpie? Problem solved. This Halloween, go as mid melt-down Shia LaBeouf. It’s low maintenance, high concept, easy on the wallet and hard on the liver. For non-committal Halloween enthusiasts everywhere
VULVATRON: Okay. I’ve never heard of this chick either. Apparently she’s the new frontwoman for Gwar, an American trash metal band which I’ve also never heard of, but all of that is immaterial in the face of that bangin’ get up. I’m not sure what it is, but based on the name I’m guessing it’s a re-imagining of a post-apocalyptic vulva. That shoots blood out of her nipples. Party-goers will surely kneel before the majesty of the mighty VULVATRON! Or at least duck so they don’t get sprayed in the face with nipple blood
Nicki Minaj: Butt floss thong, Pink sports bra, and Blue Jordan Vis, complete this Anaconda look. Oh yeah, and you’re gonna need some junk in the trunk. Got no junk? Improvise with some Volkswagen air bags. It’s also a marginally clever way to disguise every girl’s true motive on Halloween: looking slutty
Miley Cyrus: She’s only 21, but she is already providing endless fodder for Halloween. There’s Wrecking Ball Miley, There’s VMA’s Miley, there’s Miley wearing hardly any clothes and sticking her tongue out. Oh wait, that’s every Miley. And if you’re too shy to wear hardly any clothes, but have a tongue fit for public consumption, you can go as a stroke victim.
Ebola Fighter: It’s the most viral costume of the season. Pros: For the 2-6 hours you’re out on the town, you’ll be safe from the pernicious disease. Cons: Friends with delicate sensibilities may be offended by your seeming insensitivity. Pro: You can lie and tell them you’re Walter White
Kim and Kanye: For this one, you need two people to total all 6 boobs. For her: A black tuxedo jacket, no bra. For him: Some navy blue, loin cloth looking thing with…..what the fuck are those? Knee socks? Hole-y pants? I don’t know. Good luck.
The Wasco Clown: This guy had been skulking around the streets of the small California town of Wasco back in late September, scaring the shit out of residents. An interview with the clown, who requested to remain anonymous, revealed that his clown-lurking was just part of a year-long photography project conducted by his wife
Ice Bucket: See: Shia LaBeouf. Swap out the brown paper bag for an upside down bucket—you’re golden. Or frozen. Which leads us to number 10
Elsa from Frozen: Plenty of legal-age Halloween harlots are going to figure out a way to tramp up this Disney princess costume, get drunk on schnapps, and blow a guy dressed as Olaf
Human Barbie—Eat a diet of nothing but air for at least six months, have 4 ribs removed, pump up your breasts to cartoonish proportions, pop in some crazy contacts, lie about everything. You’re a Human Barbie! Simple as that!
Maleficent: Dressing up like Disney's most iconic villain from the 1959 classic Sleeping Beauty is worth it just for those bad ass horns. Then, once you’re drunk enough, you can go up to people and say, “I’m so horny.” Or not. If you don’t want to. Maybe, yeah. Don’t.
3Boobs: “That’s crazy,” you protest. “I’m not going to get a triple boob job for Halloween!” Fear not. You don’t have to and neither did Jasmine Tridevil, otherwise known as the chick with 3 boobs. The Tampa, Florida fruit cake went viral when she claimed she paid $20,000 to get a third breast implanted on her chest to make herself "unattractive" to men. In reality, it’s just a fake looking breast plate
North West—The Person: Pair a luxe pajama set with neutral sneakers, and top it off with a cream colored beanie. Act really entitled, and at some pint during the night, shit yourself
Dr. Thackery—The Knick: For one night, you are the Chief surgeon at the Knickerbocker Hospital- highly gifted and respected in the operating room, whilst blitzed out of your mind on speedballs. For the method Halloween enthusiast, you can probably score down town or outside Methadone clinics. Externally, you are going to require an elongated Hitler mustache and a white gown
